Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
T. J. Miller
A lot of newspaper columns used to be written in a rat-a-tat-tat, fast-paced style - and they tended to be funny. They were a little relief from the grimmer, grayer parts of the newspaper, and one of the best people at doing this was Will Rogers.
P. J. O'Rourke
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson
A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
I have an unfortunate personality.
Orson Welles
I think I always was a bit of a class clown, but I don't know how successful I was at that. I always think, when I read about people being class clowns, I imagine them being actually very funny, and I don't know that I was. But I tried to be, I think.
Chris Parnell
She gave me another of those long keen looks, and I could see that she was again asking herself if her favourite nephew wasn't steeped to the tonsils in the juice of the grape.
P. G. Wodehouse
I've seen people in theaters, and it just doesn't work, because you're talking to the guy next to you the whole time.
Norm MacDonald
I had been wanting to work out with a trainer for a very long time. I always had a good cardio regimen, but I didn't know how to tone up or use weights properly - and I wasn't sure where to start.
Jenna Ushkowitz
I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you know when fish goes bad? It smells like fish either way! 'Hey this smells like a dumpster, lets eat it!'
Jim Gaffigan