Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
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It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
Garrett Hedlund
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
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If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.
Ralph Ellison
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
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She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
J. B. Priestley
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I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
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Faith... must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies.
Mahatma Gandhi
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Candice Glover
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
Hannibal Buress
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My 'Dunkirk' co-star Harry Styles deals with some crazy fan stuff, but he's a very down-to-earth, lovely, funny guy.
Fionn Whitehead
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You can film me 24 hours a day and you'll get a very accurate picture of who I am. You see the funny side, I work hard, and I try to be honest and just call it how it is.
Lisa Vanderpump
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The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows.
P. J. O'Rourke
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The question of sexual dominance can exist only in the nightmare of that soul which has armed itself, totally, against the possibility of the changing motion of conquest and surrender, which is love.
James A. Baldwin
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Thanks to our brave allies: you gallant Russian bear, you British everywhere.
Bob Hope
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Science starts with preconception, with the common culture, and with common sense. It moves on to observation, is marked by the discovery of paradox, and is then concerned with the correction of preconception. It moves then to use these corrections for the designing of further observation and for more refined experiment. And as it moves along this course the nature of the evidence and experience that nourish it becomes more and more unfamiliar; it is not just the language that is strange [to common culture].
J. Robert Oppenheimer
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
