Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
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It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.'
Garrett Hedlund
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
Sam Worthington
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
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If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.
Ralph Ellison
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
Florenz Ziegfeld
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She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years.
J. B. Priestley
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I think Secretary's funny, it is about sex, and there's a lot of sex in it, sex is the key, but you're talking about a lot of other complicated things.
Maggie Gyllenhaal
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Faith... must be enforced by reason... when faith becomes blind it dies.
Mahatma Gandhi
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I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields
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In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Candice Glover
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
Hannibal Buress
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My 'Dunkirk' co-star Harry Styles deals with some crazy fan stuff, but he's a very down-to-earth, lovely, funny guy.
Fionn Whitehead
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When my father died, my mother came back from being Mrs. Birkin to being Judy Campbell. She was a stunning actress. She came out of her shell. She was herself again: this very independent, funny, intellectual lady - and was able to perform again, which was her life before meeting my father squashed it out.
Jane Birkin
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Thomas is racing for it, but McCovey is there and can't get his glove to it. That play shows the inexperience, not on Thomas' part, but on the part of Willie McC ... well, not on McCovey's part either.
Jerry Coleman
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But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with her body. When you compare that to the male’s contribution to life, it’s kind of embarrassing, really.
Jim Gaffigan
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Troubles stole my paradise was our love just blind?
Look what you have done to me my love
You can still win back my heart, love can find a way
Got my love lying in your hands, oh
Still I can't explain why you went away
So, I ask again have you gonna stay
I feel just the same, love might come again
Emotion, emotion.
Dieter Bohlen
Modern Talking
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She suddenly began to jump up and down, screaming at the top of her lungs. "The arks are after me! The arks are after me! Help me, the arks are after me!" .... "The arks! You don't understand, I have the ring and the arks are after me!" .... (and so the police officer is puzzled long enough for Miriam and Seth to escape)
Ted Dekker
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I'm bald, blind and pale. I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.
Jim Gaffigan
