Jim Gaffigan Quotes
You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
Oscar Isaac
I'm not a clean freak. My house is a mess.
Kate Walsh
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
Vanessa Bayer
It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house.
Warren E. Burger
Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom.
Walter Kirn
The less lines, the better. I am the silent film actor, but not in a slapstick sort of way. Film is an image-based medium, so whatever you can say without the words is far more provocative and punctuating. If the lines are not funny or if they don't advance the story, sometimes it's hard. I hate talk in movies.
Callum Keith Rennie
Akshay Kumar is a senior in the industry, and I consider myself lucky to be working with him. Each film of his opens to a packed house. Today, a film will sell only if you have a story. The audience is smart and won't be taken for a ride. And I'm confident about my movies.
Kajal Aggarwal
The President has a wonderful sense of humor, which is one of the reasons it is so much fun to work for him.
Karen Hughes
Whenever our neighbour's house is on fire, it cannot be amiss for the engines to play a little on our own.
Edmund Burke
A dark house is always an unhealthy house, always an ill-aired house, always a dirty house. Want of light stops growth and promotes scrofula, rickets, etc., among the children. People lose their health in a dark house, and if they get ill, they cannot get well again in it.
Florence Nightingale
And who knows? Somewhere out there in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the president's spouse. I wish him well!
Barbara Bush
I've found a place that would amaze you. People used to live there, but now it's all overgrown and no one goes there. Absolutely no one – only me... Just a little house and a garden. And two dogs.
Karel Capek
I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.
Pippa Evans
That's Hendrick's 19th home run. One more and he reaches double figures.
Jerry Coleman
Artificial lighting, air-conditioning, and automobiles, all powered by fossil fuels, swaddle us in our giddy modernity. In our ergonomic chairs and acoustical-panel cubicles, we sit cozy as kings atop 300 years of flaming carbon.
Charles C. Mann
In Germany, it's, let's say it's 5:59 and you're heading for the bakery or whatever and it's due to close at 6. The German will walk right up to that door and close it right in your face, they will lock it on the other side of that glass door with a shrug, like 'sorry'. A South Korean would never do that, ever. And, and this is what I like about them.
Brian Reynolds Myers
What is defeat? Nothing but education. Nothing but the first step to something better.
Wendell Phillips
You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."
Jim Gaffigan
