Jim Gaffigan Quotes
We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
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The first movie I really clicked with was 'Die Hard' when I was 6 years old, which is crazy that I was watching it that young. That was the one that made me want to become an actor.
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I don't think anyone feels older. You have this infinity inside you that feels like it could go on forever.
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I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
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When I first got Yves Saint Laurent Couture, I didn't know how to take off a cape. I would ask Katoucha and Dalma - the real divas of the runway - 'Can you show me?' I've never been afraid to ask for help.
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I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in.
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I always believed in my ability, but I think in any sport you need that little bit of luck.
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Normally I don't watch myself, because I'm not very objective.
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Listen, we're still selling stardom. That doesn't go away because MTV decides they can't play videos or they want to program themselves more as a traditional T.V. station. Vevo and YouTube are like MTV online, and on demand.
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Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
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The atomic bomb made the prospect of future war unendurable. It has led us up those last few steps to the mountain pass; and beyond there is a different country.
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I am not the kind of director who sits in a chair smoking a cigar talking with a microphone to 10 assistants. I need to move. To touch. To put a painting on a wall. To arrange a set.
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In theatre, you've got to make the connect with your audience in the first three minutes. If you haven't, you know you've almost lost them.
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I was not afraid of the press or the militants. It was uncomfortable, but I was not afraid. With respect to the press, I knew I knew more than they knew about city matters. With respect to the militants, I understood it. I mean, everybody believed in those days that they were being screwed, you know, that somebody was getting ahead of them.
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One of the great things about music is that it has the capability of time travel - you smell a certain smell in the room and it takes you back to your childhood. I feel like music is able to do that, and it happens to me all the time.
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I say 'no' to nothing, 'yes' to moderation. That's how I approach everything. No matter if it's candy or foie gras. When you have the real deal, you're satisfied with that one bite. I say go full throttle and call it a day.
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You can't take good health for granted.
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I get recognized by some people in my community, but not a lot. In fact, they would say, 'What do you do?' And I would say, 'Well, I did 'The Bernie Mac Show.'' And they would say, 'Oh, really? Well, do you know so-and-so?' And I'd say, 'Yeah, I hired them. I was the boss!' They don't believe it.
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Pollinate the world with the pure love of Christ.
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What we're doing is fun - if you have any sense of humor at all!
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Don't worry when you are not recognized, but strive to be worthy of recognition.
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I'm never just on the couch. Being busy is part of who I am. But it's hard juggling my family, my husband, balancing that time.
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Bisexuality is the proportional representation of sexuality in a world where most of us - straight or gay - operate a first-past-the-post system.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
