Jim Gaffigan Quotes
We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
Quotes to Explore
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I got lucky. I won the San Francisco Stand-Up Comedy Competition in 1977 while I was still at San Francisco State.
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The first movie I really clicked with was 'Die Hard' when I was 6 years old, which is crazy that I was watching it that young. That was the one that made me want to become an actor.
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I don't think anyone feels older. You have this infinity inside you that feels like it could go on forever.
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I have spent a lot of time listening to people who are serving life sentences and getting to know them and the circumstances of their lives. I have never met anyone serving a long prison sentence who had anything close to what I could call a childhood; instead, the upbringings always - always - involve extreme situations of poverty and abuse.
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When I first got Yves Saint Laurent Couture, I didn't know how to take off a cape. I would ask Katoucha and Dalma - the real divas of the runway - 'Can you show me?' I've never been afraid to ask for help.
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I can't read novels while I'm writing a novel, because somebody's voice creeps in.
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I always believed in my ability, but I think in any sport you need that little bit of luck.
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Listen, we're still selling stardom. That doesn't go away because MTV decides they can't play videos or they want to program themselves more as a traditional T.V. station. Vevo and YouTube are like MTV online, and on demand.
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Our music has been an incredible gift to help us make a difference.
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In theatre, you've got to make the connect with your audience in the first three minutes. If you haven't, you know you've almost lost them.
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One of the great things about music is that it has the capability of time travel - you smell a certain smell in the room and it takes you back to your childhood. I feel like music is able to do that, and it happens to me all the time.
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I say 'no' to nothing, 'yes' to moderation. That's how I approach everything. No matter if it's candy or foie gras. When you have the real deal, you're satisfied with that one bite. I say go full throttle and call it a day.
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You can't take good health for granted.
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I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of inflections, Or the beauty of innuendoes, The blackbird whistling, Or just after.
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Getting your house in order and reducing the confusion gives you more control over your life. Personal organization some how releases or frees you to operate more effectively.
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Avarice is a deadly sin.
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'Lisa' was a film that I am really proud of and is probably hopefully going to be remade.
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I didn't even know what it was when I started. But I was lucky. I found it at 16. Most people don't discover decathlon until they're 21 or 22.
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It's a terrific honor. To be associated with the number of people who represent the Cradle of Coaches, it's sort of unreal in a sense.
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We all want a simpler code, but tax reform is about much more. It is about ensuring that everyone pays their fair share. The tax code is also used to promote behavior that we as a nation support, such as home ownership or charitable contributions.
Charles B. Rangel -
Steve Martin is a legendary actor and a wonderful person to work with. He's incredibly well prepared, and funny off the set.
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I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place.
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I've never had a job. I've never needed to.
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We’re never satisfied when it comes to food. ‘You know what’d be good on this burger? A ham sandwich. Instead of a bun, let’s use two donuts. That way we can have it for breakfast. Look out McGriddle. Here comes the donut-ham-hamburger!’
