Jim Gaffigan Quotes
What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
Quotes to Explore
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Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice.
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I'm only waiting for Lindsay Lohan's fashion collection to come out. Ten years from now, there may be no real designers left.
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If I could wave a magic wand, we would eliminate income tax; we would eliminate corporate tax. We would abolish the IRS, and we could replace all of it with one federal consumption tax.
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Getting divorced didn't sour me on the institution of marriage. I'll tell you what I'll never do: I'll never get divorced again.
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The bottom line is the Kiss Army is growing by leaps and bounds.
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You win pennants in the off season when you build your teams with trades and free agents.
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My daughter passed away in 2003.
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It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.
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I am so, so lucky. I am the luckiest girl in the world, really. And still with access to everything I could possibly want I still say 'Oh dear, what am I going to wear today?' There's no ending to that question!
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I want to do horror and action, and I'm only being slightly facetious.
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When I was a kid just starting out on the radio, I would always watch people. And I'd see the interest they'd have in trying to get a photo with an artist or get a ticket stub signed. I guess, to me, that's the ultimate thing – to know that what you've done is important enough to other people that they want to take a picture with you.
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Where do you get lumpy tiles? Well, of course, you don't. But I get a lot of toilets, and so you just dispatch a toilet with a hammer, and then you have lumpy tiles.
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Race, redemption and healing - that's my thing.
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The failure of the Russian Socialist Republic will be the defeat of the proletariat of the whole world.
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What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.
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Out-marriage is an issue religious groups have been wrestling with for some time. Of course men and women fall in love. Of course it's not always convenient to their respective cultural and spiritual norms.
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The funny thing is that my husband couldn't be sweeter. He looks like this bad boy. He's got tattoos and earrings and a mohawk, but when you talk to him and he's around you, he's such a gentleman. He holds doors for ladies. He pulls out chairs. He cooks. He cleans.
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I spent my whole teenage life trying to get to London and go to dance school, but when I got there, I couldn't wait to get to the clubs on weekends. I knew I wanted to make music.
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I will not be discouraged by failure; I will not be elated by success.
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Twombly, frankly, was an acquired taste. I was not in love with Twombly the first time I saw one of his paintings.
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Cobain the writer is funny and self-aware and snotty with a knack for off-the-cuff profundity. Remarking to a friend that his band will be called 'Nirvana,' he scribbles next to it the words 'Oooh eerie mystical doom.'
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I find it really funny that men can always get away with being a ladies man. Everyone thinks it's really cool. But a girl can't really date boys all the time because everybody looks down on her. I think boys get away with things so much easier.
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People thought I was funny, so I kind of took entertaining for granted... it was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances.
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What was the idea behind Hot Pockets? Was there a marketing meeting somewhere, 'Hey I got an idea: How about we take a Pop-Tart and fill it with really nasty meat? You could cook it in a sleeve thing, and you could dunk it in the toilet.'
