Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
Quotes to Explore
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Fitness, defending, the mental stuff - those were all weaknesses of mine. And I turned those into strengths.
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We left my birthplace, Brooklyn, New York, in 1939 when I was 13. I enjoyed the ethnic variety and the interesting students in my public school, P.S. 134. The kids in my neighborhood were only competitive in games, although unfriendly gangs tended to define the limits of our neighborhood.
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I never sell a book. I sell myself. And the way to sell yourself is to be an instrument of love.
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I go to a regular school still, and I have the normal life of a regular kid.
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You can't be preachy - kids are allergic to messages.
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'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another.
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I played violin and got into that Suzuki program in the second grade.
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You count a man's U.S. Amateur titles after he starts winning professional majors. That's something any intelligent golf writer with a sense of history is supposed to know.
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I can see myself always writing songs - but I'm not sure if I'll always want to perform.
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So if I get these actors for 30% of their price by coming in so late with an offer when they know they are not getting another offer then I do it this way.
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Women have seen that they have locked themselves up with feminist writing.
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And luckily, therefore the good old days return. The traditional art of driving counts again, and it is all about good tactics, skills and reflexes instead of simple power.
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Take the time today to understand your contribution to any bad event you've just been through.
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I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
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There are 3.5 million Americans in Puerto Rico. So, just like we're quick to go everywhere else and help, we expect that same of America for Puerto Rico. These are U.S. citizens!
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The current prohibition laws are forcing drug disputes to be played out with guns in our streets. We need to put a stop to this criminal drug element in our country.
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I don't want people following me around, everywhere I go, people talking to me and stuff. I don't want to be walking down the street with a bodyguard. I don't think that will be an issue playing in L.A.
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No one in my family has been observant for generations, but we all identify with being Jewish.
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People in the BBC are always dying to get out of their open-plan offices.
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blackmail. The age-old path to the land of milk and honey. The one sure way of being paid for doing nothing.
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My parents live out in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of this peach orchard. It's actually Peach County, one of the largest peach-growing counties in Georgia. It's very rural, and there is nothing much going on, so I guess that's had a big influence on everything as far as just not having much to do.
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My first job was as a waitress, and I waitressed for a long, long time. I was a very bad waitress. I didn't care if people had ketchup or if they were allergic to fish. It really didn't bother me either way. I didn't care. I was bad, but it was a good way to make money. And it's a fun job if you are working with fun people.
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I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.
