Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

Quotes to Explore
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God gets you to the plate, but once your there your on your own.
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I'm an actor, and I like having attention, I guess. There's a reason I like being on stage. There's a reason I like being in front of a camera. It's that interaction.
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Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating only the top half of each slice.
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Regardless of what the record is, what the score is, you always go out there and compete.
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I don't think Joe Louis could take the punches today fighting in this era.
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Indeed the three prophecies about the death of individual art are, in their different ways, those of Hegel, Marx, and Freud. I don't see any way of getting beyond those prophecies.
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Consumption is still going up on Alibaba. This is because when the economy goes down people look online to Alibaba to buy cheaper things.
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The fact we don't have a lunar base has nothing to do with the technology. It has to do with public commitment and societal support.
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When you read about the best places to work, it's never about salary; it's about catered lunches, the daycare - it's the cool stuff that matters.
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Some people feel that what we're doing makes no sense, that it's just a waste of money. But it's working.
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In the spring of 1936, I was introduced by friends to Jean Tatlock. In the autumn, I began to court her. We were at least twice close enough to marriage to think of ourselves as engaged.
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If I could meet Quentin Tarantino, I don't know if I'd just ask him one question. I'd probably milk it into, like, 500 questions.
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There might be 1 finger on the trigger, but there will be 15 fingers on the safety catch.
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Most mainstream male fiction is littered with heroines, and female characters are basically so great, you want to fall in love with them.
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I always used to watch 'Labyrinth' and 'The Neverending Story.' Those were like my two favorite movies that I would watch over and over and over again.
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It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.
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My father and my mother and my sister and I have always voted Republican, always.
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They say women and music should never be dated.
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The leading rule for the lawyer, as for the man of every calling, is diligence.
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I think improvisation is a technique and a tool. I think that even the best of them fail most of the time, and in the end, the audience is not interested in how you got there but in what you're saying. The more clearly and concisely and artistically you say it, the more effective it is.
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You may live in an imperfect world but the frontiers are not closed and the doors are not all shut.
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I am no Poet here; my pen's the spout where the rain water of my eyes run out.
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I love sitting down and having actual conversations. But I don't do that sound-bite, be-candidly-funny thing.
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I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"