Adam Carolla Quotes
-
The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
-
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
-
If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
-
I'm not a Republican.
-
I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
-
I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
-
Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
-
I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
-
I get depressed at airports.
-
I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'
-
Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
-
When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
-
When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.
-
You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
-
It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
-
The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
-
If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
-
Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
-
My first car was a motorcycle.
-
My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
-
If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
-
Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
-
Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
-
I mean, we sit around and we go, you know, 'Torture doesn't work.' Well, it's been around for 5,000 years. Most stuff that doesn't work goes the way of the dodo pretty quick, like waterbeds and 8-tracks and things like that.