Adam Carolla Quotes
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.
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I'm not a Republican.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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My mom was on welfare and the occasional food stamp, but I have never participated in any of those governmental programs, even the ones that kind of work like education, scholarships and whatever, and I managed to do just fine.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.