Johnny Vegas Quotes
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Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.
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Class still matters in Britain today.
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I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things.
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You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.
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The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.
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I couldn't be 'Johnny' in front of a camera in acting jobs and behind the camera I like to be 'Michael.' With directing, you can't do it by halves. There's a lot of reflection, and I have found that I, as 'Michael,' thrive on it. It's lovely coming home and feeling that stuff from a day's work as myself.
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I don't want to demonise 'Johnny.' I was really proud of what he achieved. Especially within stand-up. He was quite a unique voice. I will always possibly be trading off 'Johnny's name, but there's a lot more things that I'm able to do now - the strengths that 'Michael' can bring to it.
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For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
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I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.
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I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.
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I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.
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The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No.
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Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
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If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
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I think it sort of dawns on you that if you're not gigging constantly you're not actually relevant. You may be relevant to a different part of the media now, to television commissioners and editors, but to a young live-comedy audience you're not, really.
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From a certain age, I sort of accepted myself for what I was. And although to other people it was like nothing ever goes right, I had a really nice attitude that I'd inherited from my parents, and especially from my dad.
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There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
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You get people who come to London, sever links with where they come from, and then when they need people, there's nobody there. To feel like you can't go back home would be a horribly sad place to be, as is mistaking fame for genuine love and affection.
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You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
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I've got my finger in a lot of pies.
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You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.
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I use very few muscles at the best of times.
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Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
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I believe that Britain is becoming more class-conscious, and I quake at the very idea of Old Etonians ruling the world again.