Johnny Vegas Quotes
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I use very few muscles at the best of times.
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Comedy's so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn't get it, doesn't find it funny, then fine.
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There was always that thing with 'Johnny' - I always saw myself as his writer and PR. But when he got out there, I had no control. His whole thing was going off on those flights of fancy. Going, 'Let's see what we can possibly do that hasn't been done before up here.' And when it works, it's lovely; it's a great night.
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I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers!
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There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource.
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Writing a book about yourself is like therapy, and you go 'Oh My God, that's the reason that happened.' Writing about it, you're forced to really examine things.
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I'm loath to use my personal life to promote what I do, but at the same time, I don't like a journalist going away with no more than you could get off Wikipedia, where most of it's invented anyway.
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'Johnny' was a coping mechanism who could take those things which could have ordinarily destroyed me, by tweaking my past and throwing it back out there, getting laughs from things that would have otherwise upset me.
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I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
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I always say that the stand-up world is the arena of the unwell, and it is.
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We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.
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I'd never experienced stress before I did stand-up, and it was a massive shock to my system, this thing of waking up, and the nerves of, 'You're on stage tonight.'
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I think if you're at the point where you're popular enough to sell your wedding photos to OK! Magazine then you don't need the money.
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I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive.
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If you write, produce and direct, you own things and see them through to the end.
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This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute.
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I used to attract a lot of feeders. I'd be quite happy to be locked in someone's flat and fed liquidised burgers.