Ernest Hemingway Quotes
Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
Quotes to Explore
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Gray hairs are signs of wisdom if you hold your tongue, speak and they are but hairs, as in the young.
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What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
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I like Michael Moore, but I think of him more as a rabble-rouser. On his TV show, when he went to the home of the guy who invented the car alarm and set off all the car alarms on the block... pretty funny.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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Through everything I've gone through- and I've been everywhere, at the top of the world, in jail, hung over drunk - I never gave up my dream of winning a gold medal in the Olympics.
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What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
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I don't believe in alcohol. It's a sort of a medicinal necessity for the human condition, none of that stuff. I'm not a gambling man.
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It's quite a job, so to speak, when you can really be with your child for 21 out of 24 hours.
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I think luck is a great part of it because I think that the particular makeup of the person that you are attracted to, and that you fall in love with, is very important. Even down to that old bromide of a sense of humor and all of that.
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I can unite the people of Israel, so I won't speak about controversial issues, which divide the people.
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Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!
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I like children - fried.
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It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always been fortunate enough to have been allowed to play all these diverse roles.
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I saw Quentin Tarantino's 'Django Unchained,' and you could say a lot of things against it, but it was incredible fun. I don't like blood and gore, and I am very squeamish about violence, but Tarantino's violence is actually funny.
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I'm doin' something different. I mean, I talk a little bit about race and interracial dating, but it's not the heart of my act. I just try to do what I think is funny; there's no huge message or through line.
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The fact that the internet is so active; people can now speak to me indirectly.
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I think I am a star - I'm simply a funny-shaped star.
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Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.
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When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that.
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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
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It never was my plan to get into television.
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Don't you drink? I notice you speak slightingly of the bottle. I have drunk since I was fifteen and few things have given me more pleasure.
