Steve Martin Quotes
- All Quotes
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I got a flue shot and now my chimney works perfectly.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.
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I think probably the most difficult challenge was just the climb and rise in show business because I went through my entire twenties with some success as a comedy writer but not much as a performer. And you have to be kind of informed and naive at the same time.
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With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook.
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Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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You can't make something beautiful by trying to make something beautiful. Something becomes beautiful in the process of trying to be something else.
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A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred.
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I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.
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Hello. I'm hello, and I'd like to say myself.
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You know, you're really nobody in L.A. unless you live in a house with a really big door.
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I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
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When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane.
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There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that.
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After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'
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introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness
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He gave her his phone number, in a peculiar reversal of dating procedure. She might have considered kissing him, even after the horrible first date, but he just didn’t seem to know what to do. However, Jeremy does have one outstanding quality. He likes her. And this quality in a person makes them infinitely interesting to the person who is being liked.
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She was feeling her bohemian oats.
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A friend of mine once asked how to make it in show business and I said "Be so good that they can't ignore you." She thought I was being flip but it's true. The challenge is trying to live up to the opportunities given me.
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The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible.
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I'm enamored with the art world. Anytime you look at anything that's considered artistic, there's a commercial world around it: the ballet, opera, any kind of music. It can't exist without it.
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Somewhere in the world is...The world's worst doctor and he could be yours.