Steve Martin Quotes
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introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness
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I think I meant that, given the circumstances of my childhood, I had the illusion that it's easier to be alone. To have your relationships be casual and also to pose as a solitary person, because it was more romantic. You know, I was raised on the idea of the ramblin' man and the loner.
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I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
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I've put an umbrella in my mouth and opened it. I sat in a lemon-meringue pie. I've done terrible things to my dog with a fork.
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After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'
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It's funny that some ideas start with a little "What if?" and then suddenly you're spending a million dollars to shoot the scene and hoping that it works.
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I have found that-- just as in real life--imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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I loved to make people laugh in high school, and then I found I loved being on stage in front of people. I'm sure that's some kind of ego trip or a way to overcome shyness. I was very kind of shy and reserved, so there's a way to be on stage and be performing and balance your life out.
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
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I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.
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Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Stand-up life is really hard. At one point, I got so paralyzed I could write five screenplays before I could write three jokes for stand-up. Later, I've finally allowed myself to relax quite a bit, to think I can do it because I've done it in the past. The pressure to come up with the material is the same but the anxiety about whether I can do it is gone.
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I believe in eight of the ten commandments. I believe in going to church every Sunday... unless there's a game on.
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Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.
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I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
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I'm not Vegas. Places I play usually cost like $3 to get in, you know, and people are going: Gee, I've got $3, I think I'll throw it away.
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I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... an Arctic region covered with ice.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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It's pain that changes our lives.
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I love doing my surreal sing-along that had words that no one could follow.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.