- All Quotes
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Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.
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Home to me is when someone comes up to me and says, "Can I get a selfie?" No. It's where your wife and your family are. It's the emotional place where you feel like you're not away from it.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer.
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I loved magic, and so I would practice my magic tricks in front of a mirror for hours and hours and hours because I was told that you must practice, you must practice and never present a trick before it's ready.
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Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Lacy was just as happy alone as with company. When she was alone, she was potential; with others she was realized.
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I will do anything to look like him - except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.
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There are few takers for the quiet heart.
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It's very hard sometimes when you can't crack something or can't solve something and you keep trying and trying and you know it's falling a little bit short. That's very hard, but then when you finally do it, it's very rewarding and the process is good too, I like working with people this way.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I didn't worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.
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I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.
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Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh.
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As much as I remember, I just thought, I want to sing a song that starts normal and ends crazy.
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She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.
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Romance takes place when you first fall in love. It stirs all emotions and you can manipulate and be manipulated.
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it's going to work. And then you get the response. It's great when it's good.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Reviews for someone like me come in three packages. One is justifiable praise, the second is justifiable criticism, and the third is, "This is only published because he's a celebrity."
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I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.