- All Quotes
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
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Stand-up life is really hard. At one point, I got so paralyzed I could write five screenplays before I could write three jokes for stand-up. Later, I've finally allowed myself to relax quite a bit, to think I can do it because I've done it in the past. The pressure to come up with the material is the same but the anxiety about whether I can do it is gone.
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Ah, yes. I remember my first beer.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I will do anything to look like him - except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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The overhead lights reflect in the glass countertop and mingle in the gray and black of the gloves, resulting in a mother-of-pearl swirl that sometimes sends Mirabelle into a shallow hypnotic dream.
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I didn't worry if a bit got no response, as long as I believed it had enough response to linger.
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I loved magic, and so I would practice my magic tricks in front of a mirror for hours and hours and hours because I was told that you must practice, you must practice and never present a trick before it's ready.
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As much as I remember, I just thought, I want to sing a song that starts normal and ends crazy.
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Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny.
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Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.
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There are few takers for the quiet heart.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Lacy was just as happy alone as with company. When she was alone, she was potential; with others she was realized.
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I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.
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Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh.
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I would say the three stages of making a film are the initial 'are we gonna do this,' 'how much will I be paid,' is there a lot of nights, who's it going to be with? The second stage of doing a film is how much fun your going to have doing it. The third stage is was the film a hit?
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Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.
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I don't think comic timing is the same as music timing, but I definitely find that I've learned from just writing in general that songs can be narrative without having a story.
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I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
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Romance takes place when you first fall in love. It stirs all emotions and you can manipulate and be manipulated.