Steve Martin Quotes
- All Quotes
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The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible.
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When you're reaching for a star, there's a long way to fall.
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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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It was easier to sell a painting that was not for sale.
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A joke that works is complete knowledge in a nanosecond.
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Mirabelle is attractive; it's just that she is never the first or second girl chosen.
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As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.
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I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
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She didn't even finish her last sentence; it just trailed off. I think the subject had changed in her head while her mouth had continued on the old topic, not realizing it was out of supplies.
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
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I knew I wanted to be in show business so I took the path of least resistance. I loved comedy. But you never know you are funny until people laugh. It's just what I was interested in. I could make people laugh, I guess, but doing it at school and doing it onstage are very different things.
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I did stand-up comedy for 18 years. Ten of those years were spent learning, four years were spent refining, and four years were spent in wild success. I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. The course was more plodding than heroic.
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All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
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Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.
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Bad psychoanalysis would say I enjoyed pleasing people, working really hard and pleasing people, which is probably related to my father in some way. But I really liked working hard. When I worked at Disneyland, I'd do 12 hours straight and go home thrilled.
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I ignored my stand-up career for twenty-five years, but now, having finished this memoir, I view this time with surprising warmth. One can have, it turns out, an affection for the war years.
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She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.
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Love is a promise delivered already broken.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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I thought if I had a Twitter feed and say I had a following of a 100,000, that means 100,000 of them would be interested in my book. It was logical, but it didn't turn out to be true. It turned out if I had a Twitter feed of a 100,000, four of them were interested in my book.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.
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Or is it that I think too much?
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Relationships end, but they don't end your life. But people do often spending more time finding out about failed relationships than finding successful ones.