Steve Martin Quotes
- All Quotes
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Women have choices, and men have responsibilities.
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It's funny that some ideas start with a little "What if?" and then suddenly you're spending a million dollars to shoot the scene and hoping that it works.
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Comedy is not pretty.
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It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch.
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Stand-up life is really hard. At one point, I got so paralyzed I could write five screenplays before I could write three jokes for stand-up. Later, I've finally allowed myself to relax quite a bit, to think I can do it because I've done it in the past. The pressure to come up with the material is the same but the anxiety about whether I can do it is gone.
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I love doing my surreal sing-along that had words that no one could follow.
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I just don't identify myself with a place. I just don't get it. Like, why am I cheering for this town? Towns are good and bad but they don't have principles, constitutions. You wouldn't go to war for your town.
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These days it's hard to look at a poodle without thinking what a good meal he would make.
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I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar.
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Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation.
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Romance takes place when you first fall in love. It stirs all emotions and you can manipulate and be manipulated.
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I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter.
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I'm not Vegas. Places I play usually cost like $3 to get in, you know, and people are going: Gee, I've got $3, I think I'll throw it away.
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She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.
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Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.
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I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.
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Acting has helped me understand people, not only because you are acting as a character, but also because you are watching other actors work. That really helps you identify in life when someone is acting, not being true.
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I do think that animated films have the ability to touch you someplace. There is something about live action movies that is different because we know the characters are real people, so they always stay flawed for us somehow. But animated films touch us in a very clear, uncomplicated place. They have that ability. And an animated character can make an expression in a way humans can't do.
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I have found that-- just as in real life--imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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You know when you're telling these little stories? Here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it so much more interesting for the listener!
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I will do anything to look like him - except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy.
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As a school board we felt it's an unfair expense to families. The lawsuit has a certain logic to it - if you have free public education, you can't put these things on top of it. It defeats the purpose.
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I opened the show with this line: "I have decided to give the greatest performance of my life! Oh, wait, sorry, that's tomorrow night.