Steve Martin Quotes
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I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl's leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald's - threw a match in the cook's hair.
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Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built.
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Bad psychoanalysis would say I enjoyed pleasing people, working really hard and pleasing people, which is probably related to my father in some way. But I really liked working hard. When I worked at Disneyland, I'd do 12 hours straight and go home thrilled.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful.
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He gave her his phone number, in a peculiar reversal of dating procedure. She might have considered kissing him, even after the horrible first date, but he just didn’t seem to know what to do. However, Jeremy does have one outstanding quality. He likes her. And this quality in a person makes them infinitely interesting to the person who is being liked.
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Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh.
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Being on Twitter is like having a fern.
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I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.
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I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.
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I ignored my stand-up career for twenty-five years, but now, having finished this memoir, I view this time with surprising warmth. One can have, it turns out, an affection for the war years.
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There are few takers for the quiet heart.
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Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
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She has learned that her body is precious and it mustn't be offered carelessly ever again, as it holds a direct connection to her heart.
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After one of my plays came out, I had mixed reviews, some bad and some good. One day, it dawned on me. I thought, 'I wrote a play and he wrote a review, and that's the difference between him and me.'
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Writing is extremely personal, and that's the joy of it for me.
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You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.
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It was easier to sell a painting that was not for sale.
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The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor first because writing is what you do when you are ready and acting is what you do when someone else is ready.
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Romance takes place when you first fall in love. It stirs all emotions and you can manipulate and be manipulated.
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I've heard lots of people lie to themselves but they never fool anyone.
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Mirabelle is attractive; it's just that she is never the first or second girl chosen.
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When I was in college, I was debating to try my hand at show business, or to become a professor. I just thought of the risk of not going into show business and always wondering if I would've had a chance. Because that's where my real heart was.
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I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.