Jack Roy Quotes
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I tell ya I got a stupid son. That's one load that shoulda been shot on the wall.
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.
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When I was a kid I got no respect. When I went on the roller coaster, my old man told me to stand up straight.
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At certain times I like sex - like after a cigarette.
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I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
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With girls I get no respect. A belly dancer told me I turned her stomach.
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With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.
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I've learned to control everything. I don't get angry at anything. Somebody can do me wrong. That's life. What good is it to get angry?
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I once met a beautiful, proper English girl. I bid her adieu.... she bid me a don't.
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My mother used to rock me - and she used big rocks.
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When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back.
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[on 8/24/04, before entering a Los Angeles hospital for heart valve replacement surgery] If things go right, I'll be there about a week, and if things don't go right, I'll be there about an hour and a half.
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I don't know kid, there are so many places they could hide.
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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
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They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too?
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When we got married, the first thing my wife did was put everything under both names - hers and her mother's.
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We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.
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In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.
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I'm at an age where I think more about food than I do about sex. Last week I put a mirror over my dining room table.
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What a childhood I had. Once on my birthday my ol' man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
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My son's an idiot. His teacher asked him to spell Mississippi. He asked which one? The river or the state?
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When I was a kid I got no respect. I told my mother, I'm gonna run away from home. She said, On your mark.