Dane Cook Quotes
I was being chased by a giant crab. Audience laughs That's not funny.
Dane Cook
Quotes to Explore
-
What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.
Natasha Leggero
-
It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
Karl Lagerfeld
-
There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.
J. Michael Straczynski
-
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
P. J. O'Rourke
-
It's funny, because I've never thought of myself as a Hispanic actor, like in 'American Gangster,' I'm playing an Italian. I've always been fortunate enough to have been allowed to play all these diverse roles.
Yul Vazquez
-
I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?
Patrick Ness
-
I saw Quentin Tarantino's 'Django Unchained,' and you could say a lot of things against it, but it was incredible fun. I don't like blood and gore, and I am very squeamish about violence, but Tarantino's violence is actually funny.
Salman Rushdie
-
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
Caitlin Hale
-
And secondly, I would impose a significant state landfill tipping fee and use that tipping fee to fund the billion dollar bond issue that I want to create to produce the funds for all of the environmental challenges that we just went over.
Ed Rendell
-
There was no welfare state, and people had to rely mainly on the Poor Law - that was all the state provided. It was very degrading, very humiliating. And there was a means test for receiving poor relief.
Barbara Castle
-
I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
Dane Cook
-
It's just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.
Adam McKay
-
It's so funny, actors usually have a directing ambition. I've got no ambition for directing.
Majandra Delfino
-
My dad's really funny. The male sense of humor - like my grandfather's and such - is pretty bizarre. Basically my dad's side of the family is where the bizarreness comes from. It's a little goofy and a little out there.
Kurt Vile
-
I love a smart, well-written show, and '30 Rock,' well, you can't get any better than that. Tina Fey poos funny. There's nothing that she does that isn't funny. That show is an example of how brilliant she is. It's so smart. They've done some brilliant commentary about the 'Housewives' with 'Queen of Jordan,' their show-within-the-show.
Andy Cohen
-
There is no insanity so devastating in man's life as utter sanity.
William Allen White
-
Anne Richard, a senior U.S. State Department official, testified at a Senate Homeland Security Committee hearing in November 2015 that any Syrian refugee trying to get into the United States is scrutinized by officials from the National Counterterrorism Center, FBI, Department of Homeland Security, State Department and Pentagon.
Peter Bergen
-
I was being chased by a giant crab. Audience laughs That's not funny.
Dane Cook
