Andy Borowitz Quotes
Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

Quotes to Explore
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You want to know why there's a Texas Rangers? Well, here's the answer. You know how the six-gun came around? Well, here's the answer. You want to know why Mexicans allowed Americans to settle Texas in the first place? It was fear of Comanches.
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It's so easy to get used to playing a role. Then all of the sudden when you're tossed out of it, it's almost like you have to remember how to act again!
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I actually always had short hair as a kid, and it's really liberating. I recommend it. It's just very easy. I don't have to brush it.
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Freedom is not empowerment. Empowerment is what the Serbs have in Bosnia. Anybody can grab a gun and be empowered.
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It wasn't easy to get here, and it will not be easy to take my title away from me.
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If you attempt certain things at the right time, they are easy to accomplish - in fact, they almost get done by themselves. If you undertake them before the time is right, not only will they fail, but they will often become impossible to accomplish even when the time would have been right.
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Creativity may be hard to nurture, but it's easy to thwart.
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Make the hard ones look easy and the easy ones look hard.
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I went to start the first Ethiopian-led project in paleoanthropology, ever. Doing that was not easy.
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But he knew people and he was head writer for Have Gun Will Travel, and if you took those early Star Treks that we did and put us in a western wardrobe and put us on wagon train going west, we can say the same lines.
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I'm very laid back, easy. There's nothing better in life than seeing your kids do well.
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
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I'm not an easy customer. My attention to detail could probably drive you mad. My eye still always goes toward the single flaw.
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Most of these pictures, taken while travelling, were developed on the mantelpiece of a hotel room, which proves that the method is easy enough to carry out.
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Once you've wrestled, everything else in life is easy.
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I feel like moderate Republicans, who would support sensible gun violence legislation, are pushed aside by those folks who are absolutely beholden to the NRA.
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Fame is easy to acquire; impact is much more difficult.
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It's easy to focus on the things that divide us. Sometimes too easy.
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You cannot make easy decisions unless you first commit yourself to hard solutions.
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It is not true that love makes all things easy; it makes us choose what is difficult.
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People often ask, why aren't you reading about what it is you're working on right now? And the truth is, you only get three pages a night before your eyelids close.
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Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans.
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Therefore, is thy brother a sinner? Then cover his sin and pray for him. Dost thou publish his sins, then truly thou art not a child of your merciful Father; for otherwise thou wouldst be also as he, merciful. It is certainly true that we cannot show as great mercy to our neighbor, as God has to us; but it is the true work of the devil that we do the very opposite of mercy, which is a sure sign that there is not a grain of mercy in us.
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Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.