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Just because I'm playing on the other team doesn't mean I'm this pathetic human being who's begging to be loved.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Maybe my life isn't all that interesting but at least I'm busy. Busy doesn't mean happy. I know that. But at least I'm not bored. Being bored is the worst.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Reading my own words embarrassed the hell out of me. I mean, what a pendejo. I had to be the world's biggest loser, writing about hair, and stuff about my body. No wonder I stopped keeping a journal. It was like keeping a record of my own stupidity.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I had learned to hide what I felt. No, that's not true. There was no learning involved. I had been born knowing how to hide what I felt.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
At twelve, he was very much still a child. Some boys were already on their way to becoming men at twelve. But not this boy, perhaps the most beautiful boy he has ever seen. He is as sad as he is beautiful. He wants to hold Andrés in his arms and tell him no harm will come to him. But he knows that harm has already come. He hopes it has not come to stay.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I guess I did miss Dante-even though I tried hard to not think about him. The problem with trying hard not to think about something was that you thought about it even more.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
What if hummingbirds lost their wings? We had twenty-four hours to come back with an answer, and it took her precisely ten hours and seven minutes to text me back: Then it would rain for days and the world would know the rage of the grieving sky.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Ari, it’s time you stopped running.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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I wondered if my smile was as big as hers. Maybe as big. But not as beautiful.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
People can be cruel. People hate what they don’t understand.” “But, Dad, they don’t want to understand.” “Maybe they don’t. But we have to find a way to discipline our hearts so that their cruelty doesn’t turn us into hurt animals.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
One of the secrets of the universe was that our instincts were sometimes stronger than our minds. Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
The truth is, Ari, I miss El Paso. When we first moved there, I hated it. But now I think about El Paso all the time. And I think of you. Always, Dante P.S.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
One of books is about the genocide in Rwanda and the other book is about a little boy who gets raped. Who needs monsters?
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
It was warm in the kitchen and I felt safe.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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No extra credit for being decent human beings.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I didn’t feel like a man just then. I felt like a five-year-old boy who didn’t want to do anything except play in a pile of leaves. A five-year-old boy with a greedy heart who wanted his grandmother to live forever.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Maybe this will be the summer when there is nothing but laughter. Maybe this will be the summer.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
My dad says it’s all right if people make fun of you. You know what he said to me? He said, ‘Dante, you’re an intellectual. That’s who you are. Don’t be ashamed of that.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Sometimes parents loved their sons so much that they made a romance out of their lives. They thought our youth could help us overcome everything. Maybe moms and dads forgot about this one small fact: being on the verge of seventeen could be harsh and painful and confusing. Being on the verge of seventeen could really suck.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Breakfast seemed to be a good time for throwing your emotions around. Jodie said that at this place emotions were like Frisbees – people just tossed them around all day long like they were at a park.
Benjamin Alire Saenz
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Another secret of the universe: Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I had a feeling there was something wrong with me. I guess I was a mystery even to myself. That sucked. I had serious problems.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
I wanted us to laugh forever.
Benjamin Alire Saenz -
Dogs were lucky—they didn’t need to live forever. They weren’t as greedy as people.
Benjamin Alire Saenz