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Knowing that the treatments that would be administered the following morning would erase all memory of our conversation. I did not last long in that job.
Bessel van der Kolk
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We know the left hemisphere has come online when children start to understand language and learn how to speak.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Imagination is absolutely critical to the quality of our lives. Our imagination enables us to leave our routine everyday existence by fantasizing about travel, food, sex, falling in love, or having the last word—all the things that make life interesting. Imagination gives us the opportunity to envision new possibilities—it is an essential launchpad for making our hopes come true. It fires our creativity, relieves our boredom, alleviates our pain, enhances our pleasure, and enriches our most intimate relationships.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Trauma devastates the social-engagement system and interferes with cooperation, nurturing, and the ability to function as a productive member of the clan. In this book we have seen how many mental health problems, from drug addiction to self-injurious behavior, start off as attempts to cope with emotions that became unbearable because of a lack of adequate human contact and support.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.
Bessel van der Kolk
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The internal system of an abuse victim differs from the non-abuse system with regard to the consistent absence of the effective leadership, the extreme rules under which the parts function, and the absenve of any consistent balance or harmony. Typically, the parts operate around outdated assumptions and beliefs derived from the childhood abuse, believing, for example, that it is still extremely dangerous to reveal secrets about childhood experiences which were endured.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Psychiatric medications have a serious downside, as they may deflect attention from dealing with the underlying issues.
Bessel van der Kolk
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The nucleus of the neurosis is a physioneurosis. In other words, posttraumatic stress isn’t “all in one’s head,” as some people supposed, but has a physiological basis. Kardiner understood even then that the symptoms have their origin in the entire body’s response to the original trauma.
Bessel van der Kolk
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The lack of self-awareness in victims of chronic childhood trauma is sometimes so profound that they cannot recognize themselves in a mirror. Brain scans show that this is not the result of mere inattention: The structures in charge of self-recognition may be knocked out along with the structures related to self-experience.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Our bodies are the texts that carry the memories and therefore remembering is no less than reincarnation.
Bessel van der Kolk
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One of the criteria for the PTSD diagnosis or at least are not preoccupied with specific memories of their abuse, but they continue to behave as if they were still in danger.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Chronic abuse and neglect in childhood interfere with the proper wiring of sensory-integration systems. In some cases this results in learning disabilities, which include faulty connections between the auditory and word-processing systems, and poor hand-eye coordination. As long as they are frozen or explosive, it is difficult to see how much trouble the adolescents in our residential treatment programs have processing day-to-day information, but once their behavioral problems have been successfully treated, their learning disabilities often become manifest. Even if these traumatized kids could sit still and pay attention, many of them would still be handicapped by their poor learning skills.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Life goes on, but in two temporal directions at once, the future unable to escape the grip of a memory laden with grief.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Modern neuroscience solidly supports Freud’s notion that many of our conscious thoughts are complex rationalizations for the flood of instincts, reflexes, motives, and deep-seated memories that emanate from the unconscious.
Bessel van der Kolk
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I cut myself up really badly with the lid of a tin can. They took me to the emergency room, but I couldn’t tell the doctor what I had done to cut myself—I didn’t have any memory of it. The ER doctor was convinced that dissociative identity disorder didn’t exist. . . . A lot of people involved in mental health tell you it doesn’t exist. Not that you don’t have it, but that it doesn’t exist.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Effective action (the result of fight/flight) ends the threat. Immobilization keeps the body in a state of inescapable shock and learned helplessness.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Terror increases the need for attachment, even if the source of comfort is also the source of terror.
Bessel van der Kolk
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If patients who present in such dramatically different states are treated as fakes, or if they are told to stop showing their unpredictably annoying parts, they are likely to become mute. They probably will continue to seek help, but after they have been silenced they will transmit their cries for help not by talking but by acting: with suicide attempts, depression, and rage attacks.
Bessel van der Kolk
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IFS recognizes that the cultivation of mindful self-leadership is the foundation for healing from trauma.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Tom’s need to live out his life as a memorial to his comrades.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Long after the actual event has passed, the brain may keep sending signals to the body to escape a threat that no longer exists.
Bessel van der Kolk
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The fundamental issue in resolving traumatic stress is to restore the proper balance between the rational and emotional brains, so that you can feel in charge of how you respond and how you conduct your life. When we’re triggered into states of hyper- or hypoarousal, we are pushed outside our “window of tolerance”—the range of optimal functioning.4 We become reactive and disorganized; our filters stop working—sounds and lights bother us, unwanted images from the past intrude on our minds, and we panic or fly into rages. If we’re shut down, we feel numb in body and mind; our thinking becomes sluggish and we have trouble getting out of our chairs.
Bessel van der Kolk
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The roots of resilience . . . are to be found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.
Bessel van der Kolk
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Freud had a term for such traumatic reenactments: "the compulsion to repeat." He and many of his followers believed that reenactments were an unconscious attempt to get control over a painful situation and that they eventually could lead to mastery and resolution.
Bessel van der Kolk
