Bill Bailey (Mark Robert Bailey) Quotes
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
Quotes to Explore
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I think writers have to be proactive: they've got to use new technology and social media. Yes, it's hard to get noticed by traditional publishers, but there's a great deal of opportunity out there if you've got the right story.
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I would love to explore film seeing as I have prominently been on television. It would be nice to change it up and focus on film a little bit.
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Explosions are not comfortable.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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It helps if you don't date other actors, but actresses are beautiful. How can you say no?
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If God came down here with the box that had the reason for living in it, I'd like to find just 2 words: The Music. That would be neat.
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I came to America to become an architect. And somewhere along the line while I was still in school, I was lured into theater, and that's how I became interested in theater. My first play was something called 'A Banquet for the Moon.' It was a weird play.
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I wasn't in school often enough to really belong to a 'clique,' but my friends all studied hard and got pretty good grades. They were good people with self-respect. I still like to be friends with people I admire something about; I really believe that we become like the people we're surrounded by, so I choose my friends carefully!
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The challenge in multi-lateral negotiations is not to lose sight of one's over-arching goal in the midst of the cacophony of opinions at the bargaining table.
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With so many of our fundamental rights hanging in the balance, it is not good enough to simply roll the dice, hoping a nominee has changed his past views. It's not good enough to think, 'This is the best we can expect from this president'.
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The future lies in designing and selling computers that people don't realize are computers at all.
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I don't think anybody ever really just retires where they don't do anything.
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I think the job of writing and literature is to encourage each one of us to believe that we're living in a story.
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My humor is my creativity, and my skepticism is a gift.
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I'm not, like, an action-hero guy.
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The wise make proverbs, and fools repeat them.
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My father was a very gregarious, very open guy. So every weekend, the house was full of people.
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Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.
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I write as straight as I can, just as I walk as straight as I can, because that is the best way to get there.
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After I told my wife that black underwear turned me on, she didn't wash my Y-fronts for a month.
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I am also the product of a place called Paint Creek. Doesn't have a zip code. It's too small to be called a town along the rolling plains of Texas. We grew dryland cotton and wheat, and when I wasn't farming or attending Paint Creek Rural School, I was generally over at Troop 48 working on my Eagle Scout award.
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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."
