Brad Williams Quotes
Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
Quotes to Explore
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I'm comfortable only when there's a mutual attraction. That's what anyone wants. If I find out she's not attracted to me, it brings down my level of attraction to her. If I'm interested and find out she's not, I tend to cool off.
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I have a thousands wants; it's hard to really hone in on just a few.
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Everyone wants me to be this political person... I'm not Malcolm X.
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Everybody wants to be great at something.
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I'm a woman, and every woman wants to be skinnier - unfortunately.
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My guess is that if David Beckham wants Ronaldo's jersey, he's going to get it.
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Most jokes state a bitter truth.
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One old lady who wants her head lifted wouldn't be so bad, but you multiply her two hundred and fifty thousand times and what you get is a book club.
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Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen.
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The older you get, the funnier fart jokes are.
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If you let go of fart jokes, you've let go of a piece of humanity.
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99.9% of plumbers make less than a quarter million dollars a year, and I'm going to give Joe a break whether he wants it or not.
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You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn't a whole new generation discovering Wham!.
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I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
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It would be a bitter cosmic joke if we destroy ourselves due to atrophy of the imagination.
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I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.
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I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in a suit telling monologue jokes.
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Trust not a woman when she weeps, for it is her nature to weep when she wants her will.
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The fewer our wants the more we resemble the Gods.
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After a decade in public life working to stop Iran from ever acquiring nuclear weapons, I cannot support a deal giving Iran billions of dollars in sanctions relief - in return for letting it maintain an advanced nuclear program and the infrastructure of a threshold nuclear state.
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I'm kind of fascist with myself, you know.
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The fumes are killing us, and we wonder why things are going haywire.
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Everyone just wants to hear the exact jokes that apply to them and want to - everyone wants a perfectly crafted joke for them.
