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You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
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Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
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I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.
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You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
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The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running.
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You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
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Carpe per diem - seize the check.
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When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
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The things we fear the most have already happened to us.
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I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process.
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You are a big country. You are the kindest country in the world. You are like a really nice apartment over a meth lab.
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I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.
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You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.
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There are three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.
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Make your life spectacular. I know I did.
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Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
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I do believe in love; it's wonderful – especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing.
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All you have to do is think one happy thought, and you’ll fly like me.
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Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem you face it like a man.