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I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.
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The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
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The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
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What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
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Boys, you must strive to find your own voice, because the longer you wait to begin the less likely you are to find it at all.
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When you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.
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You’re not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about.
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You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming?
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Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.
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If heaven exists, to know that there are laughs, that would be a great thing.
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Please, don’t worry so much. Because in the end none of us have very long on this earth. Life is fleeting. And if you’re ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky.
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Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got the human game preserve to play off of. And it's a lot of great characters everywhere. You work off that, and then you play the rooms, and eventually you get to a point where you're playing a club that is a comedy club, with other comics.
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Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
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With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with somebody really interesting or with an interesting person or group of people.
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I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform is the need for that primal connection. When I was little, my mother was funny with me, and I started to be charming and funny for her, and I learned that by being entertaining, you make a connection with another person.
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In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll find out here's the other side. You'll be looking under the rock occasionally for the laughter.
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Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.
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I enjoy performing for heavily armed people. It's easier than going to Georgia.
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No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.