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I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!'
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I’m a very tolerant man, except when it comes to holding a grudge.
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Death - to blink for an exceptionally long period of time.
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I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born.
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I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done.
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You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to.
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The idea of Juilliard was that it would give you this toolbox full of skills that you could take with you and apply to anything.
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Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
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Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did you do that?' But in the end, I can't regret them because I met amazing people. There was always something that was worth it.
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The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke, that you don't really have it. You've lost the muse or - the worst dread - you never had it at all. I went through all that madness early on.
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Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
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You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
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No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.
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Do you think God gets stoned? I think so … look at the platypus.
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I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, and they had great writers' chops.
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My style is bad white-boy dancing. I can do swing a little bit, but nothing beyond that. My solo dancing is sad. I use my arms, badly.
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A human life is just a heartbeat in heaven.
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Terrible wars have been fought where millions have died for one idea - freedom. And it seems that something that means so much to so many people would be worth having.
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Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem you face it like a man.
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Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly.
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We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
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Come on now! You kick out the gooks, the next thing you know, you have to kick out the chinks, the spicks, the spooks, the kikes and all that’s going to be left is a couple of brain-dead rednecks.
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For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I'm outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it's hardest to see.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.