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When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
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The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend.
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
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You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
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I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.
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Carpe per diem - seize the check.
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Stop being afraid of getting older. With age comes wisdom and confidence.
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I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it.
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There are three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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You are a big country. You are the kindest country in the world. You are like a really nice apartment over a meth lab.
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There are no rules. Just follow your heart.
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Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking a knife on your heart. But I am the harshest critic of my work.
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Time is the best teacher, unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
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We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
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I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of Zelda' at the time, and it was addicting, and I was playing it for hours and hours and hours.
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Age makes you more confident. When you realize that it’s time now to just do things. When there’s not the pressure to perform on some level of expectations, there’s more to just explore.
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I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.
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There’s a world out there. Open a window, and it’s there.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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There’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
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Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.
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There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even do anything. They basically just hold them up, and if they don't bite you, they might win.