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I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second fiddle. Fine. I'm happy to do it.
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I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It's vivid that way. I can't type it into an iPad - I think that would put a filter into the process.
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You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand.
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Carpe per diem - seize the check.
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You are a big country. You are the kindest country in the world. You are like a really nice apartment over a meth lab.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stand-up. I've always improvised, and stand-up was this great release. All of a sudden, it was just me and the audience.
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When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
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Stop being afraid of getting older. With age comes wisdom and confidence.
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There are three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.
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Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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There are no rules. Just follow your heart.
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We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
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Time is the best teacher, unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
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I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.
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There is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Age makes you more confident. When you realize that it’s time now to just do things. When there’s not the pressure to perform on some level of expectations, there’s more to just explore.
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There’s a world out there. Open a window, and it’s there.
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Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.
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There’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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You have this idea that you’d better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no, actually if you take a break people might be more interested in you.
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What’s my credibility? Why are they looking to me for advice? Isn’t there someone more qualified?
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I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end of the world per se, but you can certainly see it from there.