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What’s wrong with death, sir? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can’t we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor? Death is not the enemy, gentlemen. If we’re going to fight a disease, let’s fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference.
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I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
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People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
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When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
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You are a big country. You are the kindest country in the world. You are like a really nice apartment over a meth lab.
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A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys.
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The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording studio going mad, then the animators do all the work. Not a bad way to cash a large check, my friend.
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You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous.
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There are three things in this world that you need: Respect for all kinds of life, a nice bowel movement on a regular basis, and a navy blazer.
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Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person.
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There are no rules. Just follow your heart.
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You have this idea that you’d better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dangerous. And then you realize, no, actually if you take a break people might be more interested in you.
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There’s a world out there. Open a window, and it’s there.
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There’s no shame in failing. The only shame is not giving things your best shot.
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We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
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I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.
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There is still a lot to learn and there is always great stuff out there. Even mistakes can be wonderful.
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Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they changed it to 'alimony.' It's ripping your heart out through your wallet.
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Seize the day. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing.
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Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.
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Stop being afraid of getting older. With age comes wisdom and confidence.
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Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift.
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To be free. Such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world.
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I want to do a movie, but it has to be the right movie, whether it’s independent or a studio movie. I’m much more open to being a supporting actor. At the age of 60, I’ll be second fiddle. Fine. I’m happy to do it.