Kevin Dillon Quotes

I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.

Kevin Dillon

• Funny

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Quotes to Explore

• What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny.

  

  Natasha Leggero
  • People
  • Up
  • World

• Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • American
  • Funny
  • Nobody

• I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.

  

  Edith Sitwell
  • Funny
  • Wish
  • Government

• Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.

  

  T. J. Miller
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Weird

• But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that.

  

  Wanda Sykes
  • Funny
  • Win
  • Talent

• A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Time
  • Work
  • Funny

• What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.

  

  Oscar Isaac
  • Time
  • Funny
  • Street

• I did accents and funny voices for the family when I was growing up.

  

  Lake Bell
  • Up
  • Family
  • Funny

• If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Funny
  • Would
  • Wearing

• Flirting is funny. And it's awkward and weird.

  

  Hannah Simone
  • Funny
  • Weird
  • Awkward

• I got tired of books where the boy is a bit thick and the girl's very clever. Why does it have to such an opposition? Why can't they be like the girls and boys that I know personally, who are equally funny and equally cross? Who get things equally wrong and are equally brave? And make the same mistakes?

  

  Patrick Ness
  • Why
  • Girl
  • Funny

• Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.

  

  Caitlin Hale
  • Black
  • Funny
  • Day

• Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.

  

  Ice Cube
  • Funny
  • Comedy
  • Dark

• I have my website, The Ruckus, which is an Internet site, similar to the Funny or Die format, where people post funny videos. I get a chance to rate their videos; they get a chance to blog and kick it with me.

  

  J. B. Smoove
  • People
  • Funny
  • Die

• I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

  

  Dane Cook
  • Think
  • Funny
  • Better

• The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!

  

  Vera Wang
  • Girl
  • Funny
  • Beach

• I definitely at times notice a difference in service when I go out. You know, I can walk in to grab a cup of coffee or walk in to have lunch or dinner, and people definitely seem on their best behavior, which is funny, or I start to see people clean up around me, which I always find really, really amusing.

  

  Tabatha Coffey
  • People
  • Up
  • Funny

• I'm probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.

  

  Patrick Kane
  • Guy
  • Game
  • Funny

• It was Toto that made Dorothy laugh, and saved her from growing as gray as her other surroundings. Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose.

  

  L. Frank Baum
  • Long
  • Black
  • Small

• I attempt to surf. I'm not as good as anyone else in the water. I'm more like a beached whale. I just hang out on my board. I can ride, but I get too nervous unless I go with my boyfriend or my trainer. There are too many burly men out there!

  

  Olesya Rulin
  • Good
  • Men
  • Water

• Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with 'Once upon a time,' and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase 'happily ever after.'

  

  Daniel Handler
  • Up
  • Time
  • Angry

• In God you come up against something which is in every respect immeasurably superior to yourself. Unless you know God as that-and, therefore, know yourself as nothing in comparison-you do not know God at all.

  

  C. S. Lewis
  • Up
  • God
  • Respect

• I'm a big fan of comedians not having to apologize for anything. Nowadays it seems comedians are always apologizing for being funny.

  

  Kevin Dillon
  • Funny