Warren Farrell Quotes
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The first instinctive response to any criticism is a defensive response. (The quicker the response, the more defensive.)
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The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom – the social custom of him taking money out of his pocket, giving it to her, and calling it a date. To a young man, the worst dates feel like being robbed and rejected. Boys risk death to avoid rejection (e.g., by joining the Army)
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Contract killings never get recorded as a woman killing a man.
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When we train men for war, we lose some part of every man we train - even if we win the war. When we train men to be better nurturers, even men who fail the course will have won. And so will every child they ever meet. Training men to love is a nation’s best investment.
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Note the men’s fear that if they reported this to the authorities, not only would they not be believed, they would be ridiculed.
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The solution to all this is not criminalization but resocialization.
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Men are not only women's unpaid bodyguards, they actually pay to be a woman's bodyguard.
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Notice that much of what men do is also done by single mothers so appreciating what men do also helps us appreciate what single moms do.
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Men goeth to that place from which appreciation cometh.
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In more than thirty years of conducting workshops, no one has ever said to me, 'Warren, I want a divorce – my partner understands me.'
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Perhaps the most prevailing expectation of men is our Superman expectation: the fear we are merely Clark Kents who won't be accepted unless we are a Superman.
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In the future, women will increasingly want nurturer-connectors, since part of what he will be nurturing is her ability to protect herself.
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The function of gossip is to create an 'in group' bond by creating an 'out group' enemy.
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'Visitation' reflects the era of the absentee father; 'parent time' influences the re-emergence of the involved father. 'Visitation' reflects the destruction of the family; 'parent time' influences the reconstruction of the family. 'Parent time' influences an era that understands that as either parents loses, so lose the children.
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What’s true is that everyone is uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generates rejection. And everyone hates rejection.
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Any guy who’s played team sports has practiced a skill I call 'team sport empathy': he’s practiced focusing on anticipating the other team’s moves. That means figuring out their way of looking at the situation.
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We have entered 'The Era of the Three-Option Woman and the No-Option Man.'
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Crime, especially crime involving money, reflects the gap between the expectation to provide and the ability to provide… If we really want men to commit crime as infrequently as women, we can start by not expecting men to provide for women more than we expect women to provide for men.
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The more our children see men being paid to take responsibility for children, the more respectable it will be for men to do work compatible with their role as dads.
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Men’s pay paid women to love and nurture, to connect and feel. To be nurturer-connectors. In contrast, men received their pay by being some form of killer-protector. By becoming a human doing (a captain or a coal miner), not a human being (a person who feels happy or sad).
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No movement calls migrant workers oppressed for providing money for women from whom they are receiving neither cooking nor cleaning; for providing their wives with homes while they sleep on the ground.
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Options allow a woman to tailor her role to her personality, but if a man expects to provide well, he expects to wear a suit, not to wear what suits him.
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In brief, our genetic heritage is at odds with our genetic future. For the first time in human history, the qualities it takes to survive as a species are compatible with the qualities it takes to love.
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As feminism made this transition from equal opportunity to unequal opportunism, I made my transition from supporter to critic. But in my inner psyche, there was no transition: I went from supporter of equality to supporter of equality.