Warren Farrell Quotes
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In brief, when women batter, men’s first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women’s first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.
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If there is one quality that I find is more essential to a successful and happy life than any other, it is empathy. It is at the core of family stability and love. I’ve never had a couple come to me and say, 'I want a divorce; my partner understands me.'
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In brief, when a man fails as a wallet, we put him in prison; when a woman fails as a mother, we offer her social services. We’re taking a criminal approach to men, a social services approach to women.
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Men don't oppress women any more than women oppress men.
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The solution to all this is not criminalization but resocialization.
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Fear of emotional contact with men out of fear of being a sexual suspect makes boys, ironically, even more powerless before girls. Homophobia is like telling the United States it will be a sissy nation if it doesn’t get all its oil from OPEC.
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Many black men leave because they are financially responsible-not because they are emotionally irresponsible.
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Divorces led to bodies of men (called legislatures) protecting women collectively as other men (called husbands) failed to protect women individually.
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Note the men’s fear that if they reported this to the authorities, not only would they not be believed, they would be ridiculed.
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Male-female fusion does not create women’s rights. It creates a fusion of rights.
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The more the father is involved, the more easily the child makes open, receptive, and trusting contact with new people in its life.
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We do not yet understand that when we neglect men, we rape women.
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I've gone from being quite wealthy, when I was defending women, to being quite poor defending men.
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The hard part (of communication) is hearing criticism so it can be easily given.
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We are the offspring of approval-seekers. We want approval so badly that we vacillate between conforming to get it and standing out (being outstanding) to get it.
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Women's scars and rituals involved beauty (piercing ears and noses, binding feet, and wearing corsets); men's involved protecting women. In cultures in which physical strength is still the best way to protect women, as among the Dodos in Uganda, each time a man kills a man, he is awarded a ritual scar; the more scars, the more he is considered eligible.
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In more than thirty years of conducting workshops, no one has ever said to me, 'Warren, I want a divorce – my partner understands me.'
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The challenge is shifting our appreciation: being willing to give up some of dad’s money for more of dad’s love. And, in the process, altering the psyche that makes him lovable.
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The corporate Catch-22: Don't be flexible, lose good women; be flexible, lose good women... A company listening to women's desires for flexibility and therefore fewer promotions, giving fewer promotions to women, and then being sued for giving fewer promotions to women. Yiddish has a word for this: chutzpah.
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A single woman who supports herself is called a career woman, while a single man who supports himself is called a playboy…Ironically, a woman who commits and becomes financially dependent is considered more mature than a man who does not commit but is financially independent.
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Men’s pay paid women to love and nurture, to connect and feel. To be nurturer-connectors. In contrast, men received their pay by being some form of killer-protector. By becoming a human doing (a captain or a coal miner), not a human being (a person who feels happy or sad).
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Male Message 1 is subconsciously experienced by the boy like this: ‘Some girls in my class already look like movie stars. If they wanted me as much as I want them, then I’d know I was okay. They are genetic celebrities. I am a genetic groupie.’
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What’s true is that everyone is uncomfortable with expressing anger and being critical. Anger and criticism generates rejection. And everyone hates rejection.
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With men, we blame the victim. We blame men because we have camouflaged men’s victimization by teaching men to also be the victimizer. Men’s victimizer status camouflages men’s victim status.