Warren Farrell Quotes
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Male Message 1 is subconsciously experienced by the boy like this: ‘Some girls in my class already look like movie stars. If they wanted me as much as I want them, then I’d know I was okay. They are genetic celebrities. I am a genetic groupie.’
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Sexism is discounting the female experience of powerlessness; the new sexism is discounting the male experience of powerlessness.
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The worst aspect of dating from the perspective of many men is how dating can feel to a man like robbery by social custom – the social custom of him taking money out of his pocket, giving it to her, and calling it a date. To a young man, the worst dates feel like being robbed and rejected. Boys risk death to avoid rejection (e.g., by joining the Army)
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Sex role training becomes divorce training.
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The challenge is shifting our appreciation: being willing to give up some of dad’s money for more of dad’s love. And, in the process, altering the psyche that makes him lovable.
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No legend told its children of beautiful princesses falling in love with conscientious objectors.
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In brief, when women batter, men’s first priority is to support the women and help them change; when men batter, women’s first priority is to escape the men and put them in prison.
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By the mid-’90s, the anger at men had become so palpable that even sedate publications like The Economist were characterizing women’s vs. men’s workload as 'A woman’s work is never done; a man is drunk from sun to sun.'
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In brief, she is the partner to what primarily he creates; he is the visitor to what primarily she creates. To me, this wasn’t equality.
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By the 1970s, the American woman was being called ‘liberated’ or ‘superwoman’ while the American man was being called ‘baby killer’ if he fought in Vietnam, ‘traitor’ if he protested, or ‘apathetic’ if he did neither. Even men who came home paraplegics were literally spit on.
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All societies that have survived have survived based on their ability to prepare their sons to be disposable, in war and at work-and therefore as dads.
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Industrialization created the 'Father’s Catch-22': a dad loving his children by being away from the love of his children.
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We do not yet understand that when we neglect men, we rape women.
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It is important for a father who feels pushed away to say, in effect, 'When you do that, I feel unwanted as a father,' or 'I feel my rough-housing is not bad parenting; it's my contribution to helping our child take risks.' Women cannot hear what men do not say. – page 105.
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Sexual harassment legislation in its present form makes all men unequal to all women.
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I'm not saying that men make better fathers than women do mothers.
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We are at a unique moment in history - when a woman’s body is affected, we say the choice is hers; but when a boy’s body is affected, we say the choice is not his - the law requires our 18 year old sons to register for the draft, and therefore potential death-if-needed.
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The legal bias for special protection for women has begun to wreak havoc with the Constitution's guarantee of equal protection.
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Pay is about the power we forfeit to get the power of pay. For example, we forfeit power when we work for others, not ourselves, but we get the power of the paycheck when we do that.
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When men in relationships have more money, we say they have the power. When women in relationships have more money, we say they are being used.
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Commitment often means that a woman achieves her primary fantasy, while a man gives his up. In exchange for forfeiting his primary fantasy, what does he hope to fulfill? His primary need: intimacy.
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Our love for children is so immediate in part because we feel their powerlessness immediately; conversely, part of the way we deny our love for men is by denying men’s powerlessness. Too often we have confused love for men with respect for them, especially for their power to take care of us--which is really just love for ourselves.
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The rules of sexism do not free men from the terror of violence; they only keep men from complaining about it.
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If you are a woman, you might feel torn between logical agreement and emotional resistance. Why? It seems like a simpler solution to blame men for the pay gap than to engineer your own bridge to higher pay.