Humor Quotes
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I don't have hard numbers about this, but the impression I get is that the amount of eyeballs you get from being on the humor shelf at Barnes & Noble - it is almost insignificant.
Randall Munroe
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Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you burn yourself out.
Hank Ketcham
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In every interview, when they would ask me who should be a judge, I would always say Harry Connick, Jr., so I think I had something to do with him becoming a judge! He has a blunt, dry sense of humor. You never know if he's joking or not, and I think that's going to catch a lot of people by surprise.
Candice Glover
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I think that it's hard for vain people to be funny. I think you can look any way you want as long as you have a good sense of humor about yourself. People who are concerned with their looks and what they're wearing and how they present themselves tend to have less of a sense of humor about themselves.
Taran Killam
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Books come at my call and return when I desire them; they are never out of humor and they answer all my questions with readiness. Some present in review before me the events of past ages; others reveal to me the secrets of Nature. These teach me how to live, and those how to die; these dispel my melancholy by their mirth, and amuse me by their sallies of wit. Some there are who prepare my soul to suffer everything, to desire nothing, and to become thoroughly acquainted with itself. In a word, they open the door to all the arts and sciences.
Petrarch
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It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s. Liberals would still be fumbling with the federally mandated trigger locks.
P. J. O'Rourke
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Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor.
E. B. White
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I'm not just a big-haired redhead country singer who dresses flamboyantly, has this wicked sense of humor and wears rhinestones.
Naomi Judd
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My dad instilled in me a great sense of humor. I wasn't bullied at school because my outward attitude was confident, and that helps.
Warwick Davis
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Gags die, humor doesn't.
Jack Benny
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I need to end up with someone who is strong, intelligent, independent, someone I really admire - sensitive, sensuous, warm, a sense of humor.
Pam Dawber
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I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet.
Adam DeVine
