Guy Quotes
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I think it's incredible because there were guys like Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle and Henry Aaron who were great players for ten years... I only had four or five good years.
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To do a comedy team, it requires so much extracurricular stuff, so much compromise, so much intuitiveness to know what the other guy is doing. That's why it's so hard to do it.
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I'm a pretty normal guy. I'm really good at knowing how a normal guy would react in situations.
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Even if I was a bad right wing guy, to the extent of whether my arguments are right or wrong, they're right or wrong independently if I'm right or left.
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I'm an old-school guy. I don't try to be too flashy.
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A guy asked me what I'd do if I got a boner in the classroom, and had to stand up in front of the class. I said, "I don't know!" I thought it was funny, though.
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If you're a guy over 30 by yourself in the hotel pool, you automatically look like a murderer who's just relaxing after he strangled a family. "Yeah-that dad was a tough one to kill."
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I came out of the mall one day, and a guy was standing there with a coat hanger in his window, and I couldn't stop myself. I asked the stupid question. 'You lock your keys in the car?' 'Nope, just washed it, gonna hang it up to dry.'
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I don't have anything against SyCo or 'X Factor' or any of that. I'm just a guy who got really afraid of not being in control.
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Man, when I'm riding with the helmet on, I'm invisible. And people just deal with me as the guy on the bike... it gives you a chance to read 'em.
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My mom always said, "Don't date a guy who thinks he's prettier than you."
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I'm only as successful as the guy that lives down the street from me.
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I'm that weird guy; I hate being told what to do.
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A geek is a guy who has everything going for him but he's just too young. He's got the software but he doesn't have the hardware yet.
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When one guy is doing good, it makes all the others want to achieve greatness.
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A guy once told me that I sound like I’m a little ahead of myself. I can’t wait to thank him at the Oscars.
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My philosophy is to make an offer that the other guy can't refuse, because he thinks there's no way he can't win.
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Before it was revealed that my character on 'Lost' had a troubled history, a fan came up to me and said, 'Wow, you're a really nice guy.' To me, that was a compliment, having played a very villainous guy.
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I'm not the kind of guy who's taking advantage of my position.
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I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.
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I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.
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The Jesus freaks were the worst. While the ‘Suicide Solution’ case was going through the courts they followed me around everywhere. They would picket my shows with signs that read, ‘The Anti-Christ Is Here’. And they’d always be chanting: ‘Put Satan behind you! Put Jesus in front of you!’ One time, I made my own sign – a smiley face with the words ‘Have a Nice Day’ – and went out and joined them. They didn’t even notice. Then, just as the gig was about to start, I put down the sign, said, ‘See ya, guys,’ and went back to my dressing room.
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It's fun playing the bad guy. It comes naturally.
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Of the seven deadly sins, anger has long been the one with the best box of costumes. When the guy in the next car rages at you, he's dangerous. When you rage at him, you're just. We can usually recognize the results of anger, especially in others, as destructive and evil.
