Golf Quotes
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There were some summers when every boy in Ayrshire seemed to be playing golf, and my dad taught me. But he was a terrible teacher - of everything. Learning to drive with him almost killed me. He was the world's most impatient man - awful short fuse.
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The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
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There's this American dream to put enough away that you can golf and build a birdhouse or just be in a Barcalounger watching football all day. I'll never be that guy. And I'm not really sure the people who have that are all that happy. Our desires as a man are to work, plow ahead, and overcome conflict.
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I love to crunch numbers. I look at how many fairways I hit, how many greens I hit. I plan my way around the golf course.
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The terrible beauty is that in the brotherhood of golf we are all the same - certifiable.
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The mental aspect of golf is what makes golf such a great sport.
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We shot 'Dharma & Greg' six blocks from my house for five years. I had a Dodge Durango that I sold after five years, and it only had like 12,000 miles on it. My whole life was within eight square blocks of my house. There was a golf course across the street. In my downtime, I was on the driving range.
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Irish gardens beat all for horror. With 19 gardeners, Lord Talbot of Malahide has produced an affair exactly like a suburban golf course.
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But in the end it's still a game of golf, and if at the end of the day you can't shake hands with your opponents and still be friends, then you've missed the point.
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I played hockey in the winter, and then I would play golf in the summer. But I always knew I'd be a golfer.
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All I want to do is do my shows and play golf.
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The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
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Golf is all about patience - one tournament is four days long, 18 holes a day.
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Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
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The second-worst thing in the world is betting on a golf game and losing. The worst is not betting at all.
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In golf, humiliations are the essence of the game.
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Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.
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With golf becoming part of the Olympics now, it is even more imperative that more of the middle class get access to the sport.
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The coma ward was boring yet difficult. Like golf.
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We were all born with webbed feet and a golf club in our hand.
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That's the nature of sport, if you look at how Europe has performed they have found a way to win but golf is cyclical and there's not much between the teams.
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I get way more nervous playing golf in front of 500 people than being on stage in front of 20,000 people.
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I find golf very relaxing. It's a way to get away from work and get outside. It's a lot of fun, and once you get going it's almost kind of addictive.
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I well recall my horror when I heard for the first time, of a journalist who had laid in a pair of what were then called bicycle pants and taken to golf; it was as if I had encountered a studhorse with his hair done up in frizzes, and pink bowknots peeking out of them. It seemed, in some vague way, ignominious, and even a bit indelicate.
