Golf Quotes
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Trouble is, I don't get to play a lot at the moment because I've just signed a contract where I've got to do 200 shows a year in pubs, so the golf's fallen away a bit.
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Golf is a percentage game, and I play the percentages.
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If you've ever played golf, you know that you yell 'fore' off the tee. You're not threatening somebody; you're warning them: 'Look, don't get hit by the ball, it's coming.'
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You go to work, tape five shows in one day and then go home and play golf for the rest of the week and then start the week all over. I thought if something like that came along, I'd love to do that.
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I'm a boring guy. I don't play golf. I read, but how many books can I read?
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Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.
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I have a very good sense of humour. I love telling jokes, especially on the golf course.
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I'm dancing tango, and I'm playing golf, and I'm quite active, you know, and for my age and everything, and what I've gone through, I'm very happy.
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I can be a tennis player, a golf player, and even a soccer player.
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You have a lot of time on these tours. As Alice Cooper said, you can either drink all day or golf.
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I run like an electric golf cart. Now I look at eating as a way to feed my body and keep me younger. It's not about starving your body, but treating your body like a Ferrari. You don't put in the crappiest gas you can find. You use supreme. In the long term, you'll run clean.
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My grandson Sam Saunders has been playing golf since he could hold a club and I spent a lot of time with him over the years. Like my father taught me, I showed him the fundamentals of the game and helped him make adjustments as he and his game matured over the years.
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The fact is all golfers are equipment junkies and professional golfers are the worst of the lot. They'll do anything to find the perfect putter even though they'll insist no such instrument exists.
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I wish my name was Tom Kite.
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I've had three broken legs and two knee replacements. But I'm very good at apres golf.
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Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.
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I was a very bad accountant; I didn't care about money, golf or discovering fraud. After about a year I was sacked; then I went into teacher training.
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I get to play golf for a living. What more can you ask for – getting paid for doing what you love.
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There's this American dream to put enough away that you can golf and build a birdhouse or just be in a Barcalounger watching football all day. I'll never be that guy. And I'm not really sure the people who have that are all that happy. Our desires as a man are to work, plow ahead, and overcome conflict.
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The game is getting younger and the game is getting better. It has to do with Tiger and Phil, largely, inspiring everybody and brought a lot more youth into the game of golf.
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The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
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I wouldn't have raced a horse. But you'll then throw back at me that Jesse Owens raced against a horse and he's one of my heroes so I'm not going to say it was a silly stunt. I know too much about horses. They're highly unreliable and they've got brains the size of golf balls.
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To have the opportunity to complete the slam at the Open at St Andrews, the home of golf, is something I will never ever forget.
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Who wants a life of ease? And who wants a life in the office that you hate, and who wants to play golf?
