Comedian Quotes
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I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.
Mickey Rooney -
I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.
Morgan Freeman
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
Bill Burr -
Everything I do is intended to make people laugh and think. I just think something is funny, it's not hurting anybody, not stabbing anybody, not shooting anybody, not making anybody watch me perform. There are thousands of comedians, don't come see me because it's not like I hide it.
Carlos Mencia -
I'm in this for the long haul, I want to be doing this until I die. I am a standup comedian. I know a lot of people say I'm not, but I am.
Stewart Lee -
The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, "Here's your script! Learn these lines!" That's not fun. At least not for me.
Brian Regan -
Comedians are - at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of people that lack a little bit of - we're very insecure, and we want to be loved and liked by everybody. And you know, I could check my Twitter and there could be 150 people that say wonderful things. There'll be one person who says something negative. And all we focus on is that negative.
Russell Peters -
I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write.
Jim Gaffigan
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The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
Robin Williams -
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.
Bill Burr -
My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom.
Steve Buscemi -
I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians to like. I want everybody to like it. I want audiences to like it, but I also want comedians to like it. I'm selfish. I want everybody to laugh!
Brian Regan -
Probably one of the reasons I became a comedian is that you get a chance to control when people laugh at you.
Ben Miller -
Physics is very muddled again at the moment; it is much too hard for me anyway, and I wish I were a movie comedian or something like that and had never heard anything about physics!
Wolfgang Pauli
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When you're a young comedian the first thing you want to do is get a laugh.
Baron Vaughn -
I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.
Stewart Lee -
I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.
Paul Rudd -
Gilbert Gottfried, I think, is just the most underappreciated comedian in the world. I think that he doesn't get enough credit for how funny he is.
Brett Gelman -
I'm a comedian who happens to be Muslim; my comedy stems on all forms of my identity.
Riaad Moosa -
It would be great to be able to follow in the footsteps of Bill Murray. I really respect his ability as a comedian, obviously, but even more so as an actor.
Will Ferrell
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I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'
Carrot Top -
I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
Sandra Bernhard -
Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
Paul Lynde -
I'm attracted to working with comedians because they don't have that stars' idea of what a hero should be. The downside is they're always addressing the camera too much.
Michel Gondry