Comedian Quotes
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I spent 25 years as a stand-up comedian.
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I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.
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I mostly want to highlight things that feel like an injustice, and that's not really political. No one is going to - or should - say that bigotry toward Muslims is partisan. It's a matter of being just or not being just. So that's why I started calling myself a social justice comedian.
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write.
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I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm on stage I'm not just trying to make the comedians laugh - I'm also trying to make the audience laugh. I want to make everybody laugh.
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Comedians are - at the end of the day, we're just a bunch of people that lack a little bit of - we're very insecure, and we want to be loved and liked by everybody. And you know, I could check my Twitter and there could be 150 people that say wonderful things. There'll be one person who says something negative. And all we focus on is that negative.
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Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions.
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I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.
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I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.
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I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by that.
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Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?
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I just think of myself as a comedian, really.
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I'm a comedian who happens to be Muslim; my comedy stems on all forms of my identity.
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When I was a teenager, I met a comedian who I admired, and he was very rude to me. That's why when people come up to me I try not to be rude. I don't want to name who he is, but it really put me off watching his stuff since.
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I think for comedians, acting is their natural progression. It's all about progression.
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Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.
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Every comedian works differently. Some comedians might do just observational stuff and they don't do anything personal, and other people.. everything they do is personal and they don't do any observational stuff at all. There's no right or wrong, it's just that everybody picks their own approach.
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
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When a soldier of the night's watch dies they say, "And now his watch is over." That's what they say when a comedian dies. They go, "And now his tour is done."
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It would be great to be able to follow in the footsteps of Bill Murray. I really respect his ability as a comedian, obviously, but even more so as an actor.
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I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.
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A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).
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What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
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When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.
