Comedian Quotes
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I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.
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I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff.
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I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.
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It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains a roomful of people and then goes home to a lonely bedsit was unbelievably poignant for me because that was exactly what I was doing. I had periods of real loneliness.
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The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.
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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.
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I just think of myself as a comedian, really.
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I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write.
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Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment.
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When they put me in jail, that's when they turned me into an activist. Up until the time I went to jail, I was just a comedian.
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I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.
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I mostly want to highlight things that feel like an injustice, and that's not really political. No one is going to - or should - say that bigotry toward Muslims is partisan. It's a matter of being just or not being just. So that's why I started calling myself a social justice comedian.
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Whatever happens in life can happen on the stage, but as a comedian you should always be clear what your target is. It's fine to be gratuitously tasteless if that's what you are intending to do. It's that old line: I don't defend what a comedian might say but I defend to the death his right to say it.
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My greatest hope was to get discovered as a comedian and get on a sitcom.
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Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.
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It would be great to be able to follow in the footsteps of Bill Murray. I really respect his ability as a comedian, obviously, but even more so as an actor.
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I think for comedians, acting is their natural progression. It's all about progression.
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I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.
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I think a comedian has to be low status on some level; that gives you the right to do all sorts of jokes about all sorts of different kinds of people.
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I love standup comedians. I really do.
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I think, first of all, you need to love what you're doing, and then this helps in the comedian for its part in everything - but the moment you enjoy what you're doing, you try to express yourself, to find your way, and every time is different, of course.
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A comedian is simply a different kind of therapist. A comedian is a psychologist and a psychiatrist rolled into one. Except I can't prescribe medicine. (You still need a doctorate, which is bullshit.) Okay, so I'm not like a psychiatrist. Fine. But I'm still like a psychologist (except I can't diagnose or treat mental illness).
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I spent 25 years as a stand-up comedian.
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Comedians are the most challenging people for me to shoot. Because you're not actually in the dialogue with them, they are performing. When I work with a comedian, I become their audience.
