Funny Quotes
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My parents are a bedrock. And I have three complex, strong, and funny sisters who inspire and sustain me.
Christina Baker Kline
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A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it.
Calista Flockhart
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It's the bane of existence for anyone in comedy. 'The photograph must be funny!' So the people coordinating the shoot throw rubber chickens at you, 20 at a time. Or put a feathered hat on you. Or give you a clown nose. Of course, all of this makes you depressed, so you wind up looking more like you're promoting A Long Day's Journey Into Night.
Martin Short
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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
Oscar Levant
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I love 'Saturday Night Live,' and it's such a funny show. I don't know if I'm funny enough to be on it but definitely would be interested in doing it.
Lindsey Vonn
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My primary responsibility is to be funny.
Al Madrigal
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If we turn against each other based on divisions of race or religion. I-i-i-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if-if we fall for, you know, a bunch of okie-doke, just because, you know it-it-it. You know, it-it-it-it-it-it sounds funny or the tweets are provocative, then we're not going to build on the progress we started.
Barack Obama
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I think it's funny because on 'Glee Project,' there's that added pressure, but with 'Glee,' there's no element of competition. No one's trying to dance better than anyone. But there's that added pressure of, 'So many people are going to watch 'Glee' this week. If I don't nail this dance, I look like an idiot.'
Samuel Larsen
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I tell you, it's funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day.
Magic Johnson
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I'm always thinking of stuff; I just don't sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I'll make a note of it on my phone.
Wanda Sykes
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. Mencken
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Cobain the writer is funny and self-aware and snotty with a knack for off-the-cuff profundity. Remarking to a friend that his band will be called 'Nirvana,' he scribbles next to it the words 'Oooh eerie mystical doom.'
Karan Mahajan
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It's funny because before I joined the cast of 'Heroes,' I was an insomniac. I have suffered from insomnia for, like, so long. Now that I'm on the show, seriously - I sleep like a baby. I'm so tired all the time.
Dana Davis
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I like bowling. I suck at it, but I like it. You know what's so funny? I have days when I'm absolutely great at doing it, and then I have days when I just don't understand it.
Lil' Kim
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Literary dementia seems dated now, but there was a time when a month in the funny farm was as de rigueur for budding writers as an M.F.A. is now. To be sent away was a badge of honor; to undergo electroshock, a glorious martyrdom.
Walter Kirn
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It was funny being at high school and also grocery shopping and having a job. Other kids were going home to their parents, who were doing their laundry, and I was like, 'Wait, what?' I was super isolated. I was 16, alone in New York, and modelling.
Margaret Qualley
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Even though 'Spider-Man' is a huge blockbuster, it really didn't feel like that. It felt like we were making this weird, funny high school movie. Like just hanging out with a group of friends.
Laura Harrier
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A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife.
Maz Jobrani
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It sounds funny, but I always try to keep an open mind about what I'm writing about. Sometimes I squeak my opinions in there, but generally I don't. I try to be objective about things that I'm writing about.
John Mellencamp
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I'm like the opposite of one of those comedians who's funny on stage and depressed behind closed doors . On record, I can get pretty dark, but in real life I'm very carefree. But when I'm happy, I ain't writing songs, I'm out having a laugh, being in love. I wouldn't have the time. If I ever get married, it'll be 'Darling, I need a divorce, it's been three years, I've got a record to write!'
Adele
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In my own country, I play light comedies and funny parts.
Carice van Houten
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When you're doing a medieval show like 'Pillars,' it starts off a bit like a school play. You're all in funny costumes; you've had your coffee, and you say, 'Good morning'. Then you go on set and, if you've got good actors and directors, it takes on a life of its own.
Ian McShane
