Funny Quotes
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Of course, Behaviourism 'works'. So does torture. Give me a no-nonsense, down-to-earth behaviourist, a few drugs, and simple electrical appliances, and in six months I will have him reciting the Athanasian Creed in public.
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I was the female lead in a romantic comedy. It's a little indie film that we shot in China called 'America Town,' starring Daniel Henney and Bill Paxton. I actually had to speak Chinese in the film. It was funny because I found out I was doing the film and then a week later, I was in Shanghai.
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The moment you think you're not funny, the next funny thing you think of is just around the corner. So you have to appreciate the natural breathing patterns, the ups and downs. There are moments you're going to be hilarious and moments where you're going to be not so hilarious. That's just the way it works.
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I'm always trying to find the next comedian that just gives me something a little funny to combine with all of the depressing news that I'm processing.
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I'm funny when I want to be. And I'm even funny when I don't want to be.
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It’s crazy. Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women... f**king idiot-ass men keep saying that women aren't funny. It makes me crazy. I find it disgusting and offensive every time.
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Hate me for who I am, I don't care. At least I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
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Suppose you went back to Ada Lovelace and asked her the difference between a script and a program. She'd probably look at you funny, then say something like: Well, a script is what you give the actors, but a program is what you give the audience. That Ada was one sharp lady...
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When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny.
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I'm most drawn to characters who are compelling and repellant at the same time, very often right at the same moment, and who are frightening and funny all at once.
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Every time I work on a scene or I work on the overall movie, I had my kids unconsciously in mind. Is that going to please them? Is it going to be funny for them? And if it is funny for them, is it going to be funny for their friends and their friends' friends?
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I think it's great to see how they've grown up, not just as actors but as people. They're still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They've grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They've blossomed.
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We thought being offered the M.B.E. Member of the Order of the British Empire was as funny as everybody else thought it was. Why? What for? We didn't believe it. It was a part we didn't want. We all met and agreed it was daft.
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I love 'Goodfellas' because it's a great movie - it's funny and there is action at perfect points. I just think Martin Scorsese makes everyone look really cool.
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The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crack of noon, make sure there's no corn growing. I'm gonna get up early tomorrow. And not plow. You know, we used to not grow tomatoes-but there's more money in not growing corn."
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I guess something that I've noticed from American acts who had success in touring is more of an explanation as to their music. Which is I think quite funny. I think British acts might like to leave more to the imagination - maybe a bit more obscure perhaps - a bit more shy.
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A director recommended me for the role on 'Soap.' They said, 'She plays heavy roles, murderesses and the like.' He said, 'On stage, she could be very very funny.'
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& I'm all up all up all up in the bank with the funny face
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I did years of summer stock. I sort of only wanted to be an actor. And then at 19, I was funny, and I had some of these bits that I did for friends, and I immediately could get on television.
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I think that came out of watching all those serious movies for all that time. If you watch a movie like Zero Hour, Sterling Hayden is pretty funny, and so are the guys in the cockpit.
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In Hollywood I got work but not the right work until Pushing Daisies. Every girl in LA wanted the part of Chuck. I was terrified - I didn't know if I could be funny.
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I once heard someone doing a karaoke version of my song. That was pretty funny.
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It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky.
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I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. That's all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them.
