Funny Quotes
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If we are strong, and have faith in life and its richness of surprises, and hold the rudder steadily in our hands. I am sure we will sail into quiet and pleasant waters for our old age.
Freya Stark
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Moral indignation in most cases is, 2% moral, 48% indignation, and 50% envy.
Vittorio De Sica
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Tides is a rich, taut, suspenseful, and funny exploration of two worlds, selkie and human. It's full of mystery but it's also so fully imagined that a reader can jump right in. Betsy Cornwell is a terrific new talent with a boundless imagination.
Valerie Sayers
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You watch your place, nigger. I could get you strung up on a tree so easy, it ain't even funny.
John Steinbeck
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History often reads as a hard and grim experience. But people are remarkably resilient and funny, even when the going is very hard.
Jim Murphy
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When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!
Homer
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When I say, 'I can't stay long, I'm in-between meals,' that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.
Louie Anderson
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You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
Chevy Chase
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I listen like mad to any conversation taking place next to me just trying to hear why this is funny. Women's restrooms are especially great. I wash my hands twice waiting for people to come in and start talking.
Lynda Barry
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I was a very quiet child growing up. I always knew that I was funny - I just never put it to use.
Spoken Reasons
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Claude Kirk could be hysterically funny and fearlessly bold, and he championed the environment, education, and diversity long before those issues were fashionable.
Ander Crenshaw
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From the earliest memories I have, I liked physical, funny things.
Bill Irwin
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I love kids; I think they are fun and funny.
Courtney Thorne-Smith
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I want to be scary, boring, philosophical, funny, touching.
Bill Pullman
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It's a funny thing. I'll be in my home town of Columbus at a restaurant or something, and the waiter maybe asks, 'What do you do?' and I say, 'Oh, I'm in a band... Twenty One Pilots,' and he'll say, 'Cool, I'll check it out. I never heard of them.' And then I say, 'In September we're playing the Schottenstein Center,' and it's like, 'What?!'
Tyler Joseph
Twenty One Pilots
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If you're going to take a risk as a comic, make sure it's surrounded by other things that you're certain are funny.
Fred Willard
