Funny Quotes
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We're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday.
Neil Patrick Harris
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Four years ago on this very day I tried to take my own life. And I said, "Zach, do it in front of your co-workers and end the misery." I don't know how many of you ever tried to jump off of a Pizza Hut, but you'll just get a sprained ankle out of the deal. Then you'll have to go back inside, and serve crazy bread.
Zach Galifianakis
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'How does one conquer fear, Don B.?' 'One takes a frog and sews it to one’s shoe,' he said. 'The left or the right?' Don B. gave me a pitying look. 'Well, you’d look mighty funny going down the street with only one frog sewed to your shoes, wouldn’t you?' he said. 'One frog on each shoe.'
Donald Barthelme
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Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P. J. O'Rourke
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It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me.
Rick Baker
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The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.
Jo Brand
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I really love 'Soapdish.' I wish 'Soapdish' had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie.
Elisabeth Shue
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Culturally, it's really funny to me that people respect the weird guy as an artist. There can be a curmudgeon in the corner with spiders building nests in his hair, and he hasn't bathed for three weeks, but for whatever reason, he's more creative than the guy sitting next to him that's showered and is talking to everybody.
Mark Foster
Foster the People
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People just don't laugh when their family is violated, and you don't shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It's a funny, primitive instinct.
Phillip Noyce
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One thing about D.C. that's funny to me is that you end up running into famous political figures who you've seen on television who you think are not real until you see them.
Maz Jobrani
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It's funny, though, because when I first started going to races after we met, I was extremely nervous. It's like being backstage and hoping you don't trip over something or break an amp or accidentally speak into a live microphone, so I was really hesitant.
Ashley Judd
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It's a grim business, this being funny. Every time you come up with a strong, satiric idea, the world tops it.
Del Close
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To open the majority of peoples' minds to something new is difficult. I always think that, as long as it's funny underneath, then you can argue that a teaspoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
Jason Gann
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You find a personality whom you think the TV audience will embrace and find a format that is tailor-made for the personality. In the case of Andy Griffith, we moved the personality of a wily country shark - a funny and shrewd guy - into another arena. In this case, he is a lawyer, and it is a dramatic series.
Fred Silverman
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'Blithe Spirit' is played almost all over Britain somewhere at all times because it is such a unique and ridiculously funny show. But it's also, in fact, under those layers of humor, a very serious show. It's quite misogynistic.
Angela Lansbury
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I think that I identify with Philadelphia for a lot of reasons. Without even thinking about it, I called myself 'Philly's Constant Hitmaker' when I first got a MySpace, before I had any real hits. It was kind of just a funny slogan, basically lifted from the Rolling Stones' first album, 'England's Newest Hit Makers.'
Kurt Vile
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We've finally told the world that this is sports entertainment, and I think one of the best forms of entertainment is anything that's fun or funny, something that you really enjoy watching or listening to.
Jerry Lawler
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Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can't give them anything. I have just never been a partier, even in school.
Jordin Sparks
