Ass Quotes
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I literally had a very articulate, though highly impaired, homeless man say to me, “Smokey! I love you! What’s happening with Jacob?” Here’s a guy living on the street, but he finds a way to watch Lost! And I’m looking at him, thinking, Your priorities are completely ass-backward!
Titus Welliver
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When that fire hit your ass, it will sober your ass up quick! I saw something, I went, Well, that's a pretty blue. You know what? That looks like... FIRE! Fire is inspirational. They should use it in the Olympics, because I ran the 100 in 4.3.
Richard Pryor
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Develop a built-in bullshit detector.
Ernest Hemingway
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Don't blow smoke up my ass. You'll ruin my autopsy
William Parrish
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I try not to think about marks, the first place or gold medal. The most important thing is to show what you are capable of on ice. The rest will come on its own.
Evgeni Plushenko
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I'm a wealthy man now. I've got a flat, a car, I have enough money to buy food. I skate to make the people happy. If somebody skates to earn money, I don't care. I skate for the people. Besides, it's pleasant to supply Russia with gold medals.
Evgeni Plushenko
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You can never look that tough in glasses. ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass."
Jim Gaffigan
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I'm a perfectionist. It's a big pain in the ass and it takes a lot of my time, but it really is going well and I have to do my own things.
George Michael
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I had a professor one time... He said, 'Class, you will forget almost everything I will teach you in here, so please remember this: that God spoke to Balaam through his ass, and He has been speaking through asses ever since. So, if God should choose to speak through you, you need not think too highly of yourself. And, if on meeting someone, right away you recognize what they are, listen to them anyway'.
Rich Mullins
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Once I knew the depth where no hope was and darkness lay on the face of all things. Then love came and set my soul free.
Helen Keller
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Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.
Bill Burr
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[On being overweight:] If I tried to haul ass, I would have to make two trips.
Dolly Parton
