-
I am an outsider looking in, absolutely. You're not going to see me at the Academy Awards 'Vanity Fair' party any time soon. I'm not somebody who, no matter where I go, there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world, and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience's ticket into the party.
Kathy Griffin -
Well, Jon Hamm isn't a real celebrity.
Kathy Griffin
-
I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.
Kathy Griffin -
Uma Thurman is there.......with her big bag of BS!
Kathy Griffin -
It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
Kathy Griffin -
You know how you get that pre-diarrhoea feeling in your stomach? I'm not saying I shit my pants. But I knew I only had about 90 seconds to play with!
Kathy Griffin -
Have I gone too far?
Kathy Griffin -
I don't give a fuck who's gay or straight in the Senate. Who cares? But it's always the one that they have all this tape of, saying gay people shouldn't have civil rights, gay people aren't the same, I would never want a gay person......those are always the ones trying to get a headjob at the fucking airport bathroom at the Minneapolis airport!
Kathy Griffin
-
I know that Lindsay (Lohan) has lost a lot of weight recently, due to diet, Pilates and crack. Without the diet and Pilates.
Kathy Griffin -
There's something about Shania Twain I just don't trust. I don't know, I can't put my finger...she's just too thin. I like my country singers to have the big hair and the big ass.
Kathy Griffin -
(On William Shatner) He is like my favourite red-faced, bloated booze bag.
Kathy Griffin -
Alright, Macy Gray.....what exactly is wrong with her? She, for sure has a little mental retardation. Allegedly!
Kathy Griffin -
You'll have to excuse my friend, Ryan. That's the first time he's ever touched a woman.
Kathy Griffin -
I'm not wearing any pants and the lesbians are waiting!
Kathy Griffin
-
People with cancer like to wear jogging suits.
Kathy Griffin -
I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.
Kathy Griffin -
So anyway, the show starts, and it's the Army band, and it's all those American 'ra ra' songs, you know that whole 'I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free.' And they eat that shit up!
Kathy Griffin -
I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
Kathy Griffin -
Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
Kathy Griffin -
That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.
Kathy Griffin
-
I saw Courtney Love have one of her heroin fits....and break a guitar. So I pulled up a chair. What? You gotta be ring-side!
Kathy Griffin -
And then who comes along to save the day? A couple of tool-belt wearing, golf-loving, Dinah Shore weekend lesbians sent from heaven.
Kathy Griffin -
The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can't seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it's my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.
Kathy Griffin -
(About gay cruising) My gays had to school me, and they said there's a whole system and a language to the tapping. One tap means you're a top, two means you're a bottom.....I don't know, it's very elaborate. Very elaborate.
Kathy Griffin