Kathy Griffin Quotes
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It was sweaty Whitney (Houston) in Central Park. She knew that park pretty well. Every bush!
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Next thing I know, there a baby in my ter-litt!
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I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.
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You know what's great about my mom? She compulsively swears and doesn't know it. Like...I mean, she doesn't have Tourettes. I could never get that lucky. Can you imagine how it would be to have parents with Tourettes? I would be in heaven...but anyway. That is one funny fucking disease.
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My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America's great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.
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And yet she has the fucked-up baby voice! And is there anything more charming than a grown woman with a baby voice? Mmmm, yummy! I'm hard thinking about it.
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She reaches under and grabs my peech and like, squeezes it and walks away. I run over to Brooke and go 'Your mother just molested me. I could sue you and own this house'!
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Don't you love the new crazy Britney, she's our new Liza.
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I don't know about you, but I fucked a midget. I have secrets.
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Isn't Scientology one of those things where you really like someone and once you hear they're a Scientologist, you're like 'I'm out'?
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Wake up people! If you are gay and living in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, what the fuck else are you gonna do? You're gonna join the musical theatre. That's all you got in Pigeon Forge - there's no 'bear' bar! This is it. Suit up.....put the wings on!
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Nothing gets me more nervous than white people who talk black.......I mean, it's fun on 'Ricki Lake', but in real life......
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No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
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My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.
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We didn't know that the (Jackson) family was as nuts as we're now finding out. Who knew that Michael was the normal one??
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I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
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I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone... it's a joke!
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What? Steven Spielberg is furious with me? I won't be able to star in any more Steven Spielberg movies? What will I do with my day? Suck my dick!!
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Impersonating Celine) 'Zis next song iz for all ze parents in zer audience, and also zer children'...(looks puzzled).... that's just everybody, right?
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A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.
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I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
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I am not gonna engage in a debate that Michael Jackson could be the biological father of any of those kids. I'm not havin it, not tonight. There's no way. Those kids are Whitey, Whitey McGee and Whitey McWhiterson!
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Now the great thing about the current Britney (Spears) tour, is that it has a lot of fantastic dancing... and she doesn't get bogged down in any....ahm...singing!
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My act is based on my life.