Drew Carey Quotes
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I don't know, people take chances on stage. It's a big free speech zone, a comedy show. So sometimes things happen, you say things that are a little bit off the edge.
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I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.
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Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.
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I honestly think that it automatically hurts me if I said that I supported the war in Iraq and I support the troops. That automatically kills me for getting a bunch of movies, a bunch of television shows. People don't want to hear from me.
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I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?'
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I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson.
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Violence doesn't solve anything? World War I. World War II. Star Wars. Every Super Bowl. Who says violence doesn't solve anything?
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Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.
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I actually was worried about the pounding, but I actually love running more than working out on the elliptical. Now if I get on the elliptical, I feel like I'm trapped.
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Welcome to 'Who's Line Is It Anyway' the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like Canada.
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You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.
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Listen, you don't know any better so I'll just tell you. You can't try to save money by not having the right beer. You know, you can skip having medical insurance, you can buy everything you own at a swap meet but the right beer is what makes living like this possible.
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Like I said, all comedy is based on exaggeration, big or small, whatever you can get away with.
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Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.
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Being a celebrity you always get really good seats to sporting events but you never get as good seats as the photographers get. And I really love sports. So one of the scams I have going now is I want to learn sports photography so I can get better seats at a sporting event.
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George Carlin is kind of my template now because George Carlin before was straight laced regular comic and he had short hair, a tie, suit, nightclub guy. Then he said screw it, let his hair grow, just started telling what he thought was the truth. So that's what I'm trying to do.
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Isn't it amazing that the Germans call their city halls 'rat houses'? That's what we should call our city halls!
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I don't think there's hardly a comic out there that does clean material all the way around. There's a couple of guys that are clean, but I'm not one of them.
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Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.
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The easiest diet is, you know, eat vegetables, eat fresh food. Just a really sensible healthy diet like you read about all the time.
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It sucks being fat, you know.
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Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.
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Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.
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I like to think of my house as nothing more than a glorified console for my television; the ultimate stereo cabinet.