Jerry Coleman Quotes
Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.
Quotes to Explore
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The Midwest breeds funny, eccentric people, to varying degrees. You play shows not because you're expecting to get a record deal, but to do something fun outside of mowing lawns. Everything else is just gravy... Or mustard.
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Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
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Most things I get hired on, I get hired because I improvise something funny, or they just think I look weird.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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I like children - fried.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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You need to talk about sex with a sense of humor, especially because sex is a sensitive area for a lot of people.
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I try to cope with everything through humor.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!
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The black press, some liberal sportswriters, and even a few politicians were banging away at those Jim Crow barriers in baseball. I never expected the walls to come tumbling down in my lifetime.
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I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my every instinct is to be funny, and I'm always having to dampen that down.
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It's just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.
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It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singer, and a lot of people that know I can sing don't know I can dance. And so, I feel like at some point I have to show them both and really be able to display it and showcase it, and put that out there.
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The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.
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My uncle is so funny - Don Vito. He was always fat with the craziest voice. Dude, he barely speaks English; it's just full-blown jibber-jabber. It's so funny to watch on TV because you really need subtitles because you can't understand him.
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It's fun; baseball's fun.
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I have a funny relationship with religion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet, we cannot live in a world without order.
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I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers. Based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy."
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One of the main reasons I paint is because I think nature is so wonderful. I want to try to get my feelings of that down on canvas, if possible.
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When you write what you know, you stay in control. One of the first things I encourage my writing students to do is to lose control - say what they want to say, break structure.
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The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.
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Ozzie makes a leaping, diving stop, shovels to Fernando and everybody drops everything.
