Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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But in the long run we're not going to be able to keep out of state trash away from Pennsylvania.
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
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Whereas, generally speaking, zinc reacts suitably only with the first members of the alkyl iodides, with magnesium it is possible to use bromides, iodides, and in many cases, chlorides.
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When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't.
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Stand by your man. Give him two arms to cling to and something warm to come to.
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If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect.
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I lost 80 percent of my wealth and then gave away over half of the rest. So I'm a man of modest means now. But if you budget carefully and watch your expenditures, you can get by on a couple billion dollars.
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The average full-time working male works more than a full-time working female.
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At the end of the day, I am not my dad and have my own journey to make.
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Kids are naturally gifted at art from a very young age. The problem is when they get older and become self-conscious. The process should always be fun, though.
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If God came down here with the box that had the reason for living in it, I'd like to find just 2 words: The Music. That would be neat.
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You shouldn't be ashamed of your pain. You have the right to have your pain treated.
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As long as I have a heartbeat, I'm fine. So I just do what I love, and I do it the best that I can. And if it all goes away, I'll just start over.
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The beautiful thing about hip-hop is it's like an audio collage. You can take any form of music and do it in a hip-hop way and it'll be a hip-hop song. That's the only music you can do that with.
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If I go out in the open ocean environment, virtually anywhere in the world, and I drag a net from 3,000 feet to the surface, most of the animals - in fact, in many places, 80 to 90 percent of the animals that I bring up in that net - make light. This makes for some pretty spectacular light shows.
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I think there needs to be a way to allow people to become educated if they've paid taxes, they've been here a long time. And I think, actually, we need to think about young people are not making the decision on whether to come here.
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I like to envision the creation of a short story collection as being like putting together a jazz album. Yes, there's logic and literary structures imposed by me, but at the same time, all the tracks are shaped and ordered in a much more improvisational manner. The guiding principle for me is whether or not a story adds a layer or texture to the overall collection.
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The business case for diverse employment is not a matter we can ignore. When the business case merges with values and national objectives, this serves as a wake up call for us all. We cannot ignore the opportunity; we cannot ignore the commitment.
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Sometimes people fear the truth. They'd rather not speak to you than know what you really think.
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The gentlemen who wrote the Constitution were as suspicious of efficient government as they were wary of democracy, a 'turbulence and a folly' that was associated with the unruly ignorance of an urban mob.
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Nature is a machine. The family is a machine. The life cycle is like a machine.
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My comedy is romanticized laziness.
