Jim Gaffigan Quotes

New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• To disregard the obvious is not a good trait in a leader in any situation.

  

  Jack Reed
  • Good
  • Leader
  • Situation

• They were saying computers deal with numbers. This was absolutely nonsense. Computers deal with arbitrary information of any kind.

  

  Ted Nelson
  • Saying
  • Computers
  • Nonsense

• That which prematurely arrives at perfection soon perishes.

  

  Quintilian
  • Perfection
  • Which
  • Soon

• All my life, my immediate response to emotional pain has been to make jokes. Lots of jokes.

  

  Karen Salmansohn
  • Life
  • Pain
  • Emotional

• I've always believed that a good twist is one that, when it is presented to the audience, half of them say, 'I saw that coming.' And half of them are completely and totally shocked. Because if you don't have the half that saw it coming, then it wasn't fair: You never gave the audience a chance to guess it.

  

  Damon Lindelof
  • Good
  • You
  • Chance

• It would be nice to be on the charts again, nice to be recognised.

  

  Nancy Sinatra
  • Nice
  • Again
  • Be Nice

• I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.

  

  Saint Teresa of Avila
  • Power
  • Easy
  • Impossible

• The job as a coach is difficult.

  

  Ottmar Hitzfeld
  • Job
  • Difficult
  • Coach

• The biggest cowards are managers who don't let people know where they stand.

  

  Jack Welch
  • People
  • Know
  • Stand

• My theory was that what I had to do was make a study of human behavior.

  

  A. E. van Vogt
  • Study
  • Human
  • Behavior

• I get paid the same money if I'm fighting on pay-per-view or on Fight Pass, and Fight Pass is just getting started. It's the future. The Internet, many people watch it.

  

  Rafael dos Anjos
  • People
  • Money
  • Future

• My experience with music, I'm not going to say extremely negative, but it's definitely been a grind; it's been grimy - it hasn't been a pretty process. It's left me crying, you know, on the carpet in my tiny apartment with, like, no money. But it's been worth it, it's my passion, my dream, it's what I love to do.

  

  Kat Graham
  • Music
  • Money
  • Love

• I'm not musically inclined. It blows my mind that people can write music. I don't have that talent; I look up to the people that do.

  

  Olesya Rulin
  • People
  • Up
  • Music

• The rewards for those who persevere far exceed the pain that must precede the victory.

  

  Ted Engstrom
  • Pain
  • Victory
  • Far

• Clothes are not frippery. Properly done, they can be an art form.

  

  Iris Apfel
  • Done
  • Art
  • Clothes

• Cotton Mather's publications in his own lifetime amounted to more than 400 titles, and his magnum opus, on which he labored most of his life, remains unpublished: a commentary on every verse of every book of the Bible. Anyone who leaves that kind of record behind issues an irresistible invitation to historians.

  

  Edmund Morgan
  • Life
  • Book
  • Bible

• I demand a lot from myself and reflect this attitude upon others: I consider it to be an important quality for a leader. I also think it is impossible to achieve success without persistence.

  

  Yelena Baturina
  • Important
  • Success
  • Quality

• Most men today cannot conceive of a freedom that does not involve somebody's slavery.

  

  W. E. B. Du Bois
  • Men
  • Today
  • Freedom

• I used to not want to die in any way but in my sleep when I was a young man. I'd like to die awake now, if possible, with people around me who love me.

  

  Alan Alda
  • People
  • Want
  • Die

• The good parts of a book may be only something a writer is lucky enough to overhear or it may be the wreck of his whole damn life - and one is as good as another.

  

  Ernest Hemingway
  • Writing
  • Book
  • Enough

• Drama is easier to do because you just have to have the emotion and not get caught acting, but comedy is much harder.

  

  Patrick Dempsey
  • You
  • Comedy
  • Drama

• I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

  

  Wendy Liebman
  • Women
  • Comedy
  • Comedians

• I don't write about things that I have the answers to or things that are very close to home. It just wouldn't be any adventure. It wouldn't have any vitality.

  

  Ann Beattie
  • Home
  • Adventure

• New York has made me so paranoid, too. Whenever I visit another city, I always act like I'm from there, so the cab driver doesn't rip me off. I'm always like, "Yeah, it's good to be back home. Back here where I grew up. Yeah. Here in Tokyo. ... Uh, driver, I need to go to my old stomping grounds. That would be the Holiday Inn. And the address appears to be the pound sign."

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Home
  • Funny
  • Comedy