Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
Quotes to Explore
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The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around.
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When you read about the best places to work, it's never about salary; it's about catered lunches, the daycare - it's the cool stuff that matters.
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I've had my run in with trouble. Fortunately, you know, one slap on the hand is usually the last time for me... I learned my lesson.
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The health industry, the fitness industry, was really starting to pick up. This was around the mid 80's.
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It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.
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But freedom, liberty, is an attribute of the soul and it may exist even when the body is in bondage.
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If you're driving, and a cop is behind you, you automatically think they're going to pull you over, but cops have so much more going on than to think about pulling you over. The last thing a real cop wants to do is write a ticket. That's the truth.
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I went out there, and I fought Anderson Silva, and you know what? I got a big W, and that's massive for my career going forward.
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Race, redemption and healing - that's my thing.
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I think of myself as a performance artist. I hate being called a pop star. I hate that.
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I never, never thought one day I will sing at La Scala or I will get the Grammy. I'm lucky. I work a lot with a teacher, with my coach.
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I've never had any desire to be good. I don't like goodness particularly.
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There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Look back, and smile on perils past.
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It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life.
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From compassion springs humility. The ego is verily a gateway to hell. The person who is egoistic is far from being religious.
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I live in a small world of gouache and brush and pen and ink. I'd like to explore the world of multiples - etching and prints.
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I think that our comfort is in our history.
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How would Jonathan Lethem have obtained such a stellar endorsement for 'The Fortress of Solitude' from Michael Chabon, if not for the years they spent ghostwriting 'MAD' magazine fold-ins together?
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To cry on court during a Wimbledon final, you must feel so lonely.
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Our bad memories and our bad experiences are what make us who we are and what make us grow and allow us to learn, if we choose to see the lessons in those experiences.
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Brain power improves by brain use, just as our bodily strength grows with exercise. And there is no doubt that a large proportion of the female population, from school days to late middle age, now have very complicated lives indeed.
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'I think the Holy Grail is a dream that men have, a dream that the world can be made perfect. And if it existed, then we'd all know the dream can't come true.'
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.
