Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.

Quotes to Explore
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When you read about the best places to work, it's never about salary; it's about catered lunches, the daycare - it's the cool stuff that matters.
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I've had my run in with trouble. Fortunately, you know, one slap on the hand is usually the last time for me... I learned my lesson.
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The health industry, the fitness industry, was really starting to pick up. This was around the mid 80's.
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It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.
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But freedom, liberty, is an attribute of the soul and it may exist even when the body is in bondage.
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If you're driving, and a cop is behind you, you automatically think they're going to pull you over, but cops have so much more going on than to think about pulling you over. The last thing a real cop wants to do is write a ticket. That's the truth.
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I went out there, and I fought Anderson Silva, and you know what? I got a big W, and that's massive for my career going forward.
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Race, redemption and healing - that's my thing.
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I think of myself as a performance artist. I hate being called a pop star. I hate that.
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I never, never thought one day I will sing at La Scala or I will get the Grammy. I'm lucky. I work a lot with a teacher, with my coach.
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I've never had any desire to be good. I don't like goodness particularly.
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There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
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Look back, and smile on perils past.
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It is better to entertain an idea than to take it home to live with you for the rest of your life.
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From compassion springs humility. The ego is verily a gateway to hell. The person who is egoistic is far from being religious.
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I live in a small world of gouache and brush and pen and ink. I'd like to explore the world of multiples - etching and prints.
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I think that our comfort is in our history.
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Bowie is just a persona. He's a singer, an entertainer. David Jones is a man I met.
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My third mother is my paternal grandmother. Her name is Viola. She gave me my sense of knowing why, or knowing why it was important to ask why. She made me understand that I don't have to believe everything I hear.
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However we can spread love and progression, we've got to do it.
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Many, however, gives themselves to God, but preserve still in their hearts some attachment to creatures, which prevents them from belonging entirely to God.
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I did not destroy the 43 volumes of my diary, which report on all these events and the share I had in them; but of my own accord I handed them voluntarily to the officers of the American Army who arrested me.
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I am a guy who talks about bacon and escalators. Stand-up comedy is very much a conversation. It's very personal, stylistically.