Larry David Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
I get tired of comedies where there are a bunch of funny guys and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not my experience with teenagers.
-
Jews are not part of a European ruling class imposed on helpless natives, but are caught up in a tragedy in which two peoples are struggling for the same piece of land.
-
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
-
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
-
It's only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I'm skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I'm big, when I was big, I never thought about it.
-
Moses freed the Jews. Lincoln freed the slaves. I freed the neurotics.
-
A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
-
What's funny in 'The Mayor of MacDougal Street' is how Dave Van Ronk talks a lot about the time and how exciting it was and how electric it was.
-
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
-
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
-
We try to make the name longer and longer every year. First, it was 'Larry the Cable Guy's Christmas Spectacular.' Then it was 'It's a Very Larry Christmas.' Now it's 'Larry the Cable Guy's Hula-palooza Christmas Luau.' I'll tell you what it is: It's funny. That's what it is. Who cares what the name of it is? It is a funny special.
-
The less I talk about being black, the better.
-
I've learned not to hide behind a veil of irony - to talk about my work in a more honest way.
-
Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.
-
When I first stepped into literature twenty-five years ago, I wanted to work on behalf of the oppressed, the working masses, and it seemed to me, mistakenly, that I would not find them among the Jews.
-
The Jews have never been ashamed of being Jews, whereas homosexuals have been stupid enough to be ashamed of their homosexuality.
-
I like children - fried.
-
I can talk a lot and not reveal anything; I would make a great politician.
-
With the stand-up comic on TV, whether it's Seinfeld or Cosby or Roseanne, more important than their knowledge of how to tell a joke is their knowledge of themselves, or the persona they've created as themselves. So that when you're in a room with writers, you can say, 'Guys, that's a funny line, but I wouldn't say it.'
-
I consider myself a player who fights and gives everything on the pitch. Those who know me and appreciate those values understand what I say.
-
Art imitates life and, sometimes, life imitates art. It's a weird combination of elements.
-
The planet will survive. Whether we get to be here and enjoy it, or enjoy life as we've known it, is what's questionable.
-
For me, hair is an accoutrement. Hair is jewelry. It's an accessory.
-
There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.
