Sarah Silverman Quotes
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If my Catholic boyfriend and I ever have a kid, we'll just be honest with it. We'll say that Mommy is one of God's chosen people, and Daddy believes that Jesus is magic!
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I'm all sentimental. I've probably been ruined by romantic movies, but I really do believe in love. I've experienced it, I've had it, so I know it's real.
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I think that whenever a Jew has any kind of notoriety, good or bad, the Jews find it to be good.
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I will always try to be happy. I don’t think people really understand the value of happiness until they know what it’s like to be in that very, very dark place. It’s not romantic. Not even a little.
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I don't wanna be labeled as straight or labeled as gay. I just want people to look at me and see me as white.
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I don't think comedy comes from hotbeds of doing shtick. I think it usually comes from some kind of childhood humiliation or darkness.
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It's just hard to say, "Well, I do this, which means this." If I'm telling you exactly who I am, then there's nothing for the audience to say.
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I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.
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Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts.
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Also, I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn't matter, you know... because, at the end of the day, they're both gross. But mostly, I learned that elderly black women are wise beyond their years... but younger black women are prostitutes.
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I am Jewish and proud of this culturally and ethnically - the ways in which I was born this way and am happy with whom I am.
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I love children. I'm embarrassingly baby-crazy.
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I don't need a lot of space.
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I'm not wanting and I don't live in a hovel, but if you keep your costs low, you can do what you want to do creatively.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of "offensive." Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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When I was three, my dad thought it would be hilarious to teach me swear words, then have me say them to his friends. They would laugh and laugh. I realize now the laugh was pure shock value, but it felt really good, and I've been chasing it ever since.
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We deserve quality lives with equality.
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The female nudity in movies is always sexualized.
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They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
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Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.
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I don't get this shitty attitude that only gays should care about gay issues and only women should care about women's issues.
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You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.
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All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.
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I didn't feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.