Sarah Silverman Quotes
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All comics want to be musicians. There's a part of me that wants to be a serious musician. I love songs about heartache and heartbreak.
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They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
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I'm almost positive there is no God.
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Guess what, Martin Luther King? I had a dream, too.
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If I have kids, I'll adopt.
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If I were somebody else looking at my character, I'd be like, "She's beautiful." I'm practicing. I'm not succeeding.
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Making my family laugh when I was little - it became an addiction. It was a kind of survival.
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If we can send a person to the moon, we can send someone with AIDS to the moon, and then someday we can send everybody with AIDS to the moon.
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I don't need a lot of space.
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People say, like, "I love when you smile because part of your mouth goes up," then I never organically smile again.
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The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
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I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.
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There are so many great comedies, right now. I like how comedies are really mixing. They're not just one thing. It can be very moving and dramatic, and yet hilarious.
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As soon as a women gets to an age where she has opinions and she's vital and she's strong, she's systematically shamed into hiding under a rock.
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The best time to have a baby is when you're a black teenager.
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I didn't feel so different until maybe, like, around third grade. Kids started blaming me for my people killing Jesus.
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I don't believe in Jesus or God. But I do believe that fundamentalists in religion or anything else are bad, and that they have more hate than love.
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Someone on Twitter sent me a page from a textbook. It had a picture of a football player next to a picture of me. The juxtaposition was meant to illustrate two meanings of "offensive." Seriously. It broke my heart. It's that accepted what I do is offensive?
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The female nudity in movies is always sexualized.
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You're supposed to have friends you can tell anything to.
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That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.
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Sometimes loving each other isn't enough. You have to be responsible for your own happiness. You can't stay in a relationship because you're afraid of the unknown.
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I don't compromise. I only do the stuff I want to do.
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Comedy can't live within my second-guesses, so I started doing new material. Sometimes I bombed. But you have to be willing to if you want to move forward and stay vital. It's like people who take pride in not having a computer. I'm all, "Great, don't learn new things! Your brain is full!"